How to make a long distance relationship work

SDearest Buhari, ince you have been gone, I have been thinking. I have no idea when you will return. I have no idea if it will be like the last time, for many many weeks. But I know for sure that this time, I am ready. To make myself able to handle this I have been doing some research about how to survive a long distance relationship. I have summarized all the knowledge I have gathered and decided to share with you. Both of us have to make this work. I know you have handed over the running of the house to your deputy but our love remains the most important thing to me. Please read this carefully and tell me what you think. The sooner we start practicing this the better for our relationship.

1. Set some ground rules to manage your expectations

So, I believe this is pretty self explanatory. Ground rules are important. Without ground rules one of us will do something to annoy the other without realizing it. These are my ground rules: a.) Eat healthy. b.) Sleep enough c.) Don’t talk to other visitors (like you did with the King of Morocco the last time) before talking to me. If you can receive visitors, then you can talk to me. d.) Be honest about your health and whatever happens don’t let me be the last to know.

2. Make communication organic and unconditional.

I was shocked when I saw this. I always thought one had to talk all the time. It is always good to learn. I have now resolved thus to not demand that you give your family an occasional broadcast - this was never your style. You have always been silent, talking only to your close friends and to America. I am not judging you for it. So, whenever you want, talk to us. Tell us you still care. That you still optional,

Now I know you think I mean talking dirty the way white people do in all those bad films. But we can take this and make it a holy kind of talking dirty. How about I keep you updated on all the dirty things your staff are doing while you are gone? Like when someone is a thief or someone is abusing power or the security guards are harassing someone. You know, that kind of dirty. Let us try it. 4. Have a goal in mind What is your goal? To carry on when you return until 2022? To retire in 2019? Let us think of these things so that we can plan ahead and people don’t fight over our property. It will help all of us plan. It will also help us take time I look forward to you returning. I look forward to you building a hospital near the house that you can go to instead of always having to fly far. I look forward to training our doctors enough so that we can trust them to treat you. I look forward to knowing where I stand with you in 2019. I look forward to having that Shiite man released and having him off my conscience especially after we have destroyed everything he has and killed most of his children