Better an American dog than a Naija cancer patient
It is absolutely unfair to compare access to radiography machines by a typical Naija cancer patient with an American dog in the same situation. According to facts reeled out by Outside Source and BBC Africa last Thursday, there are more radiography machines for America’s 78 million dogs than cancer patients in Naija.
Naija has only three (3) functional radiography machines for its population of 180 million. That is one radiography machine to 46 million people. The wicked BBC goes on to say that in comparison, there are 76 machines dedicated to the welfare of American cats and dogs that suffer from cancer. Before you join Area Father’s #OurMumuDonDo protests, let me console you by saying that Naija is not alone. One radiography machine services 10 million Angolans with a population of 30 million or Lagos, Kano, Rivers and Katsina states. Kenya with a population of 50 million has one machine for every five million. If Kenya were Naija, it would have one machine in each state.
Of course any African who has read Kongi’s Telephone Conversation in school knows that the muzungu value their cats and dogs more than the average African ruiner value their own citizens. What hurts most is being reminded that nothing has changed nearly 60 years after the first African nation declared its independence.
The guys at the Broadcasting House in London are trying to start a war in Naija and to spoil the cordial relationship between mainland Naija and its island state of Great Britain. That trust is exemplified in the confidence that the incorruptible Sai Baba has in his London-based doctors (who could be Naija by birth and initial training anyhow) than he has in his local doctor when it comes to helping him hear the wailing of his citizens. This faith built in 1976 when Sai Baba was first appointed oil minister, not when he made himself oil minister. Yet, it has survived several coup d’état and evil transitions. Insha Allah, no enemy is strong enough to break it!
Sai Mama and her loquacious daughter do not understand why State House Clinic is building walls rather than buying analgesics, syringes and syrup for them. These in-house wailers fail to understand the role that abandoned walls could play in catering for stray dogs and preventing an embarrassing faceoff with PETA. Imagine the effects that a PETA or RSPCA campaign against unethical treatment of Naija’s stray dogs would have on our designation as a tourist destination or an investment haven to people who value their dogs more than we value our voters?
BBC should desist from spoiling our bad image or face proscription. We have the capacity to shut down or stonewall any broadcast station failing to give us the respect we deserve as the giant of Africa. We would like to let BBC directors know the effects of the withdrawal of Naija resources and patronage from London. Al-Jazeera recently underscored this by joining a tour group that survives by driving London tourists around Naija Quarters, an area so posh only Naija kleptocrats have homes there in this era of Brexit.
A London hospital medvacated our president for over 100 days while a business-unfriendly Heathrow airport manager refused to charge us the appropriate fees for turning their tarmac into a garage for Naija’s Air Force One. Since it has been established that only a fraction of Naija people pay taxes, it is not correct to say that taxpayer’s fund helped finance Sai Baba medvacationing in London or that same funds maintain London’s fake glory till date.
BBC producers should always look beyond scandalous headlines. But they are not acting alone here; they must be in cahoots with the PDP because of several local incidences and coincidences. First, the headline alleging that Sai Mama and her daughter were attacking State House Clinic for running an establishment that does not qualify for Sai Baba’s 1984 benchmark as a ‘mere consulting clinic’. This report comes shortly after unpatriotic Naija doctors returned from a crippling strike only to hand over the baton of their walkout to nurses and allied counterparts. It also comes with the announcement that government is considering an executive order or decree banning doctors from moonlighting when the appropriate thing should be addressing the decay in the health sector.
This decision to ban doctors is in line with government’s penchant to frustrate state enterprises before auctioning them to the loyal bidders. They killed NITEL for GSM operators, they killed NEPA for darkness and generator merchants; they killed public education for their privately funded schools and to grant access for their children to acquire status-symbol foreign education.
At a time when hecklers are calling on government to implement the recommendations of its own inquiry into the impact of its grasscutters when it would rather pursue goats, this is not good news.
The only thing exempt from concession is the only thing that would benefit from it - good governance. We would have asked Barack Obama to vacation here and run this state for half a presidential term? Anyway, if anybody is angered by this radiography report they should wait for reincarnation and return as an American dog instead of a Naija cancer patient.