Couples speak

With Valentine’s Day in a few days and love in the air, couples everywhere will use the opportunity to celebrate their unions and strengthen their bonds. Tambari spoke to a few couples for a glimpse into their inseparable relationships and how they’ve stood the test of time.

Ohimai Amaize & Tessy OlisehAmaize

How did you both meet? Ohimai: We met through a friend. I had this friend, Tobi Sanni Daniel who always dressed stylish and fashionable and one day I had to ask him; “who makes your clothes?” And he told me “It’s one very-talented tiny little girl. You should meet her”. Tobi connected us and during one of my trips to Lagos I invited her to take my measurement. The moment she walked into the room, something clicked in my head. She reminded me so much about my Mum. Interestingly, when she saw me the first time, it also registered in her mind that I was her future husband. As she later told me, when she got home that evening, she told her cousin; “You see that guy I took his measurement today? That’s my husband.” Her cousin of course was a bit alarmed and wondered why she was so confident just after meeting me for the first time. That was how the love story began and today we are husband and wife.

Tessy: I met my husband in Lagos when I went to take his measurement. A big brother of mine, Tobi Sanni Daniel who patronizes my fashion business regularly introduced me to him. That was how it all started. As soon as I got home that day, I told my cousin who accompanied me to take his measurement; “I met my husband today.” She said, “What do you mean? How do you know?” I told her to watch out. Funny enough, I never knew he also had things going on in his mind about me but I just had a strange feeling that I was going to get married to him. How and when, I had no clue, but today it has come to pass.

What is the most exciting aspect of being married to your partner?

Ohimai: We are always there for each other. My wife is my best friend. She knows me in and out and that reality always brings a level of peace and stability to the union.

Tessy: My husband likes surprises. He does the nicest things when you least expect them. He likes surprising me. Sometimes, he just takes a walk out of the house and returns with something I’m not expecting. And it has helped me become very patient with him because I know that even when he’s acting uninterested or acting like he’s not concerned, he’s up to something. What were your fantasies about your relationship?

Ohimai: We’ve always admired the Beckhams. Victoria Beckham is my wife’s style icon. And then I like David too. In the early days of our relationship, we always fantasized about a power couple union like Posh and Becks, not just the glitz and glamour around them but the way they have been able to stick together all these years despite being couples who are exposed daily to the pressure of living in the fast-lane of lights, cameras and all that drama of the spotlight.

Tessy: My husband said it all already and he is correct. We discovered that we shared a lot in common in terms of the kind of couple we wanted to be.We always saw ourselves as a couple that would be an example to the world. We are not a perfect couple and I don’t believe there is any perfect marriage anywhere in the world but we came together with the understanding that despite being in a terrain where people expect that things can easily go wrong, we will remain committed to make this work. And this is what makes the story of Victoria and David Beckham really inspiring to us. People believe celebrity marriages don’t work, but they’ve managed to keep their family together, supporting each other.

How much of that has become a reality?

Ohimai: Quite a great deal has happened for us in a short time but the full picture is shaping up gradually. We are nowhere close to our dreams but we are taking measured, calculated steps and taking things one step at a time.

Tessy: We are doing well by the grace of God. I believe our journey is still far but God has been helping us.

Looking ten years down the road, what would you like to see in your marriage?

Ohimai: Focus, unity and love. Tessy: An ever-loving husband who sees me as the center of his universe.

When you first met him/her, what attracted you?

Ohimai: Like I said earlier, she reminded me so much about my Mum when we first met. But getting to know her, I discovered she works very hard. I like women who work so hard to build their dreams. And more importantly, I discovered her love for God and godliness. Youcan’s ask for anything better in a life partner.

Tessy: My husband is handsome but beyond the looks, I was convinced in my heart that I had met a God-fearing, hardworking and perfect gentleman.

Is that attractions still there or has something more attractive in him/her caught your attention?

Ohimai: Everything that attracted me to my wife from day one are still there. Tessy: Absolutely!

What is the best gift he/she has given you?

Ohimai: Her love. Nothing in the world can really equate that or replace that. Tessy: I’m not telling you this one. My secret. (Laughs).

How have you been able to keep your love strong?

Ohimai: I have always managed to remind myself the reason I got married. I don’t see my marriage just like any other. I see my union as an assignment from God to fulfill destiny on the face of the earth. So when tough times show up or anything happens that makes me upset, I return to the foundation which is rooted in God, remind myself that challenges are a part of life and that they are temporary. So after a while, I just keep moving and set my eyes on the prize that is ahead of me. I believe that people fall out of love when they lose focus and forget what brought them together in the first place. Tessy: You get to a point in a relationship when you discover that love is not all and that love is not enough. That’s where God’s grace sets in. God has been faithful. God is love and He’s the rock of our union.

What is the best way he/she apologizes to you?

Ohimai: I’m the type who gets softened up very easily when I’m angry. A simple apology is all it takes and I’m fine. My wife doesn’t have to go through any drama of kneeling down, buying me a gift or whatever to apologise when she has offended me. She apologises by saying; “I am sorry”, and that settles it.

Tessy: When I’m really angry, he gives me space and then after a while, comes to apologise. Sometimes, he buys me a gift.

How long have you been married and how have you been able to overcome marital challenges?

Ohimai: In April, we will be 4 years in marriage. We are very spiritual Christian family and we believe that marriage is an institution set up by God. So whenever we face a crisis, we return to the one who created that institution to help us resolve it. That is how we have managed to keep walking on this journey.

Tessy: We’ve been married for about four years and God has always been there for us. He’s the one we look up to whenever anything shows up that threatens the existence of our union.