Broken marriages inspired my book – Author
The author of the book, ‘The Influence of Love: Life Episodes of Emotional Complexities and Resolution,’ Nellie Onwuchekwa, has said that the need to rescue increasing cases of ‘broken marriages in today’s society’ motivated her to write the book.
Onwuchekwa disclosed this while addressing journalists at the book presentation and launch in Lagos.
Onwuchekwa, who is also the founder, Afresh Global Foundation and Chief Sponsor of a radio talk show, Emotionally Yours, said based on experiences, the different interplays of elements do impact life’s emotional responses and influence the outcome of relationships. She however added that emotions can be complex and response to them may have life-changing impacts.
“I have seen a lot of relationships destroyed. Most of the things I have seen however, pointed to the fact that often times, those who engage in the relationship don’t even understand why they are into the relationship. Some people marry because they feel time is running out on them, some marry because they feel their blood groups rhyme and some marry because of statuses.
“After the marriages, they keep going on, they even do develop positive attitudes but because they are missing out on complexities of marriages, they find themselves in different paths and before you know it, the relationship becomes broken and the marriages collapse. There are those who do not even know much about each other and still get married. The truth of course is that, you can date someone for up to three or four years and still don’t know the person. And that is because they are focusing on the wrong things,” Onwuchekwa said.
According to the author, the decision to write the book also has to do with the need for people to develop self-love in relationship. She said judging from her personal experience, there is a need for partners in marriage to choose love as the basis of their existence, which in return will help them develop self-love.
The Book Reviewer, Reuben Onwubiko described the 197-page book as “episodic”. He said the style and approach adopted by the author is one that can keep readers glued with the piece from the beginning till the end.
“The book broadens the reader’s perspective on complexities of love and emotions, and offers positive resolutions paths. There are complexities in relationships and the best way to handle them is not to advocate wholesale recommendations. In the course of writing the book, the author met with real people and real issues and went ahead to dissect them,” Onwubiko said.
He said though the author discussed different ways and manners to resolve emotionally issues, there were few things she overlooked. For instance, he said whilst the author showcased issues arising from age gap in relationships between an older man and a younger woman, none of the case studies revealed those involving older women and younger men. He urged the author to include practical study guides for readers in the next edition.
The Chairman of the book launch and former Executive Secretary, Nigerian Universities Commission (NUC), Prof. Peter Okebukola, lamented that there is currently high rate of marital and emotional breakdown due to the absence of love. Okebukola who was represented by Crawford University’s former Vice Chancellor, Professor Samson Ayanjala, also added that the author has demonstrated through her book that ‘Love is not only powerful, but also, allencompassing.”