Earthquake Buhari

IDearest Buhari, t made a lot of sense to me that on a day that you were returning from China, we had earth tremors in many parts of the country, especially Abuja, your seat of power. Even the earth acknowledged your return. Especially at a time when Atiku and Saraki and Kwankwaso are flexing their muscles and declaring that they want to run for president, I think the universe is reminding people that there is only one mover and shaker in Nigeria and that is you. I know that your enemies and people carrying out campaigns of calumny against you keep spreading news reports of the secret service making people disappear and keeping people for years without trial. They spread news about the secret service torturing people in underground cells without taking them to court. I have not seen any torture. So I do not believe. I saw the former head of the Human Rights Commission posting photos on Twitter of scars from torture after being held for two years, much of which was incommunicado. That man could have gone out to drink and fallen and hurt himself. I did not see the secret service torturing anyone. And they say zato zunubi ne. My dear I wanted to ask about Kemi and her allegedly forged NYSC exemption certificate. I am wondering, (not that I think she is a criminal or anything) maybe if it is true that she forged her certificate like Premium Times alleges, that means she has some graphic art skills. Because the NYSC certificate is not easy to design. Now, even in America, when the FBI catches like a really talented hacker, they offer them deals I saw a photo circulating of a man in Aso Rock using a broom to sweep the red carpet that was going to be used to receive Angela Merkel. They were criticising you for not using a vacuum cleaner or some other machine. I think it is metaphor for everything your stand for so that their skills don’t go to waste. I am not saying you should do anything to the Finance Minister, because like your people said, forgery is not corruption. I am saying that if, worst case scenario, you find out that Madam Kemi did forge her certificate we can put her skills to good use. We can ask her to design all our campaign posters and flyers. There will be no need to pay people millions to do the designs. If she can do such a complicated certificate, she can design a campaign poster. And we can keep her as part of the government.

Did you hear about that relative of Abba Kyari accusing him of defrauding him of over 300 million naira? I think that even if it is true, I am sure he was trying to save some money for government. Imagine if you had to pay a man from the village 300 million from government coffers. That would hit the economy hard. Also, assuming but not conceding that this allegation is true, I think Abba Kyari was trying to save the man from himself and from armed robbers and kidnappers. All that money can be destructive. He can attract the worst things, from bad friends to people who want to kill him for the money to bad habits. Imagine if he became a drug addict or heavy drinker because of all that money. I once heard of a man who won a huge lottery and went mad. You have such considerate people around you, Bubu.

So I saw a photo circulating of a man in Aso Rock using a broom to sweep the red carpet that was going to be used to receive Angela Merkel. They were criticising you