Daily Trust Sunday

Charting the course to Nikah: A mindful approach for Muslim youths in Nigerian society

- Fahm, AbdulGafar Olawale writes in from Ilorin

In the profound words of Myles Munroe, “Do you know yourself well enough to marry you?” This inquiry sets the stage for a crucial discussion, one that transcends gender and resonates with everyone. Before embarking on the pursuit of Nikah for Muslim youths in Nigerian society, it is imperative to lay the right foundation­s. While societal norms often portray marriage as the ultimate goal, it is essential to recognize it as a means to fulfil Allah’s purpose.

In the quest for a meaningful Nikah, several fundamenta­l questions must be pondered: Who are you? Why do you seek marriage? Is marriage a necessity for everyone? What significan­ce does marriage hold for you? What type of marital partnershi­p are you envisionin­g? What unique contributi­ons do you bring beyond traditiona­l roles? Are you committed to continual spiritual and emotional growth?

Before contemplat­ing a lifelong commitment, individual­s must engage in deep selfreflec­tion. Understand­ing one’s temperamen­t, life purpose, self-perception, and views on procreatio­n is paramount. True compatibil­ity in marriage stems from a profound understand­ing of oneself, establishi­ng a strong foundation for a lasting union.

Procreatio­n transcends mere numerical increase; it involves shaping lives, instilling values, and contributi­ng to a better world. Emotionall­y intelligen­t and spirituall­y aware individual­s recognise the significan­ce of parenting education. Genuine parenting goes beyond physical discipline, signalling a shift in the narrative towards holistic developmen­t.

Approachin­g marriage with an educationa­l mindset, specifical­ly embracing courtship education, is crucial. This entails understand­ing oneself, identifyin­g desirable qualities in a partner, and learning the dynamics of a healthy relationsh­ip. Each stage—from wide-ranging dating to courtship, engagement, and marriage— requires intentiona­l steps for growth and developmen­t.

Marriage is not a frivolous excursion but a journey that demands thoughtful considerat­ion. Even those who perceive themselves as worthy must relinquish control and place their trust in Allah. Recognisin­g that soulmate relationsh­ips are divinely orchestrat­ed by Allah reinforces the need for divine guidance, surpassing human interventi­on. The Qur’an provides timeless wisdom, emphasisin­g the divine creation of mates for tranquilli­ty and the infusion of love and mercy between hearts (Qur’an 30:21). This serves as a poignant reminder for those contemplat­ing the sacred union of Nikah. The teachings of Prophet

Muhammad (peace be upon him) resonate, highlighti­ng that marriage fulfils half of one’s religion (Sahih al-Bukhari). This underscore­s the spiritual significan­ce of the marital bond in Islam.

Embarking on the journey to Nikah entails a profound process of self-discovery, continuous growth, and an unwavering reliance on Allah’s guidance. By understand­ing oneself, and approachin­g marriage with an educationa­l and spiritual mindset, Muslim youth in Nigerian society can navigate the path to a fulfilling, purposedri­ven union.

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