Marrying a female graduate?
Asking oneself such questions may be rhetorical, or so it seems. But it is much more than that. Today, it is one of the most soul searching questions in the heart of most young men. Women who have been through the university while single, especially in Hausa land, are faced with such difficulties when it comes to marriage.
Yet, the issue is a matter of compatibility, time/devotion, care, money, control, love, and faith between spouses. There are so many perspectives about marrying a graduate. Some believe that what causes ‘husband scarcity’ for graduate ladies is their attitude towards selecting the right man. Who then is the right man for a graduate lady?
Every woman needs a successful man as a life partner. An educated woman needs a man who can understand her desire, feelings (likes and dislikes), ideological belief as well as her personality. She also needs him to respect her, and vice versa. That is the right man with whom she can live together and build a happy home.
To make that choice is a long process. It needs careful observation so as not to fail in choosing the life partner. Women are discriminated against by a group of the society if they go to the university. Nevertheless, if a girl is a graduate, she is considered successful, isn’t she? Then, what is the problem?
Some men prefer to marry non-graduate for reasons that vary among men’s taste, including faith, culture and life style. Some men want to be in charge of their homes which they feel would be difficult with a graduate as a wife.
Whatever they tell the wife she is expected to accept unconditionally. They desire a submissive wife who obeys orders. A graduate lady may object to such control in her home.
Some may say they prefer to marry a younger non-graduate lady because they are cheaper to maintain economically. Some argue that to have peace in your home, you don’t have to marry a graduate who will not even devote time to your children or your property.
Men should know that there are some benefits in marrying a graduate. Nowadays, people, especially the middle class, live a life that is shaped by modern changes in society. For example, technology and machines in our homes and ultra modern shopping malls in our cities affect our lives. We now live in electronic homes with lots of gadgets to help with chores and make life easier.
The story of an illiterate wife who tries to spray insecticide in her kitchen while using a gas cooker is indeed pitiable and painfully ridiculous. The result is setting the whole house ablaze. This happened because she could not understand or care to read the caution on the tin that reads: “it’s highly inflammable”. Now, a graduate’s level of thinking and understanding would, in most cases, be higher than that of the non-graduate because of her high educational achievement.
Hence, she can give her spouse good advices even about his work. This is because she is in a better position to do so.
Apart from what Islam teaches, which a graduate can find easier to grasp during married life, female graduates have the social skills needed to improve the family life in a way that is modern, safer and most enjoyable. They read them in books. If a girl combines the two — “Ideal Muslim Wife” (a book with Islamic perspective) and “The Ideal Wife” (which has western modern perspective), she will be able to separate the grain from the chaff: putting them in the right basket, she would probably make her husband feel like the luckiest man on earth.
There reasons are several good
why university educated married.
Usman Assalafee, a postgraduate student in the Department of Mass Communication, Bayero University Kano, summed it up. He said that female graduates should behave well while the male (graduates) should trust them.
Women should disregard the present economic status of a man and marry him so long as he has the potentials to secure a promising future. Men should marry university girls because they are better equipped, both religiously and socially. She may even be calmer than the nongraduates. It all depends on her personality.
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