Golf lessons Nigerians don’t know

Don’t laugh, but anybody who knows the difference between an Iron and a Putter is a golfer in Nigeria. The fellow doesn’t have to see the Range and get equipped with real Handicap before storming the course. At least, the fellow can swing. At least, anything can happen in Nigeria.

All the same, we all agree that golf is decent, that it is an honorable game where you get what you score, even though you still end up as your own arbiter. Yes, in golf, you mark your own card. But could this be reason enough for the waywardness that is now the norm in about all the golf courses in the country? I doubt this.

There is still a way out. This is not a Nigerian election where people believe rigging can never be thrown to the dustbin. This is golf where old things must pass away. Not by force, but by an act of the Heart… the act that allows a player to mark his own card. This can indeed be achieved if we keep to heart some of the teachings of the game. It doesn’t matter if you are a single handicapper of a weekend hacker whose Gross reads close to 250, even after parting with some 28 strokes.

The teachings are easy enough. Have a handicap. And its sad most Nigerian golfers don’t know what this means and this is why many cheat freely on Handicaps. Know it by heart that there are a few people who are honest in golf but cheat in life. Truth is everybody who cheats in golf cheats in life.

Don’t’ cheat on your handicap just because you want to win. Take the game like an exercise. Hack as much as you can and pile up divots that could fill a mule house and don’t ever be afraid to be laughed at. You know why this is so? Okay hear it, golf teaches that even though you probably don’t have a shot at being the best, you do have a shot at being the best you can be. Truth is golf teaches that both success and failure are temporary. It also teaches that success is a lot more temporary. Besides, the game teaches that no matter how good you are, there is always someone better and that person will usually find and tell you. So why do you need to cheat?

Again, golf teaches that although practice does not always make everyone perfect, but then there is no practice that can make anyone imperfect. But in Nigeria, we hardly know what it means to practice. This is why you see a hacker moving onto the Range unaided. The folk knows he needs a Pro around him but the pittance he will part with as wages of the Pro is already giving him a heart attack.

Hear this. Golf teaches that when you are good, you are free to tell people but when you are perfect, it’s people who will tell you. “Jamming-Jamming” or not, don’t brag about your game unless your Surname reads Macllroy. People of little faith, this doesn’t mean you should be afraid to beat at your chest and pump your fist if you hole it from 28 feet.

And yes this. Golf is all about brain work. You have to think clearly so you don’t duff it where the ball will never been seen. But this doesn’t mean you turn the game into a race among Tortoise. Sure thing is that although this game teaches that patience is virtue, you must also know that the same game teaches that slow play is sin. Ask yourself this question. How do you feel that some people pack up their game because of your slow game? Think of it.