HOME FRONT Why every girl needs training in home management
One of the worthy qualities of a good housewife is her ability to manage her home properly. She should neither be too economical nor too extravagant in utilizing what is provided by her husband.
This quality is sometimes hard to get in women; and most especially the younger wives. The younger wife could squander what is provided by the husband without thinking of the future.
This attitude exhibited by such wives creates problems in the matrimonial home, most especially with the current economic situation in the country.
One would hear some husbands complaining about the extravagance of their wives which they said is frustrating.
Malam Ibrahim Adamu of Nassarawa quarters has this to say about his wife: “Too careless. She would leave water on the gas to boil for a very long time without thinking of the cost of refilling a cylinder. Sometimes I have to go into the kitchen myself to switch off the cooker.”
He added, “Another thing she is fond of doing is wasting the cooking oil by using too much of it when cooking. The food would then be too oily for one’s liking.’’
Making the same complaint, Sharu Hamisu of Tudun Yola in Gwale Local Government Area of Kano said, “Today’s wives are not sympathetic to their husbands. You are always out there striving to keep your family comfortable but she is there at home squandering everything that is being provided.
“For example, if I buy a pack of Maggi cubes, within some few days she would inform me that the cubes are finished. Once, I asked her what she had done with it, she told me that even in cooking white rice she had to add the seasoning cubes in addition to the ones she used in the soup. That is unwise of her,” he said.
Muhammad Hafiz, a husband of two, observed that when he married his second wife, he was praying that she would be the prudent one, saying his first wife knew nothing about being prudent with what he provided.
However, to his greatest dismay he found the second wife worse than the first wife.
“My wish could not become a reality because the second wife is even more extravagant than the first wife. I’m constrained to live with them like that.
Due to this problem, some men have decided to tackle it by giving their wives everything in measures and locking up the remaining foodstuff in their rooms or store. This is, however creating another problem of either making the wives to get the foodstuff without his knowing, probably because what the husband gives is not adequate for them, or because when she gets visitors, she is put in a difficult situation.
While the men are complaining, the question that comes to mind is who is to blame? Is it the wife or her parents?
Hajiya Fatima Abdullahi mai kosai in Sani Mai Nagge quarters in Gwale Local Government Area of Kano State said the parents get the larger share of the blame, “The mother should get the larger share of the blame because as a good mother, she is supposed to teach her daughter home management not just by words but practically as well. Young wives should have be able to learn from their mothers how to use foodstuff without wasting it or being too economical,” she said.
She further noted that as mothers, they are supposed to start teaching their daughters by ensuring that food is cooked according to the household requirement and all other ingredients are proportionately put to use to avoid all forms of waste.
“If the size of their family is small, the mother should give the measure of the foodstuff that will suffice for them and provide the cooking oil, seasonings and all other ingredients that will be enough for the quantity of the foodstuff,”she said.
According to her, if this process is maintained, the girl would learn how to use foodstuff carefully.
“She will be able to master the quantity of water needed for a certain measure of rice, for example. She will also know the quantity of oil needed to cook a given measure and even the amount of salt needed without tasting the food,”she said.
However, expressing a different opinion, Hajiya Hajara Buba, a mother of seven, said today’s daughters are stubborn.
“Even if mothers are to blame, some of the children are very stubborn as even if the mother tries to teach them they will not pay attention and learn. In fact sometimes they try to show that they know more than their mothers,” she said.
She added, “I can cite example with myself. I’m a woman who loves to do things in an orderly and correct manner. I have learnt to cook by measuring all my ingredients. I know the quantity of water needed for a given measure of rice and so also other ingredients. I don’t have to bother myself with frequent opening of the pot to see how it is because I’m sure of all that I have put in to cook,”she said.
Hajara said all her effort to make the children adopt this method of preparing food appeared to have failed.
“I have talked and scolded but all in vain. If they cook, it is either the oil and the seasoning is too much or inadequate. In this case will you say it is my fault?,” she said.
Some young wives have, however disclosed that with the current economic hardship, they have started learning how to be moderate in utilizing what is provided by their husbands or their parents.
Bilkisu Tahir, a mother of two, said she had changed now. “Before, when I cooked, I would put everything in surplus not minding the implication, but now, I have to calculate and measure everything before putting it in the pot. This recession has taught me how to be economical in using foodstuff,” she revealed.
She advised men to device a means of checking their wives that are excessive without allowing anger take charge.
“For example, on the first day of their matrimonial life, they should sit down and try to familiarise themselves with everything that is in their homes.
“Let each one know the likes and dislikes of his/her partner and resolve to take note. During such sitting, the husband should emphasise the need for prudence in utilizing the available resources,”she said.
This, according to her would put the wife on course and make her start her home on a good footing.