I heard someone wrote memo

Dearest Buhari,

Iknow you are back and I can just walk into the other room to chat with you but I like these letters. I think it is romantic for you to come home from work at 3 or 4pm to a letter from me leaning on the bedside stool.

So I heard you got a letter from that man who pretends to love you. Found it in the bon when I was doing spring cleaning. Somehow we missed it in the mail (even though I suspect that your uncle or one of our workers, trying to shield you from him must have binned the letter.) If it wasn’t that the letter was dated September 2016, I would have called him a copy cat who sends letters to you because I am sending letters to you. I laughed a lot when I read the letter and I am sure you would too. But since you are busy and really we don’t have time to spend on that man, I will just give you the highlights so we can giggle together.

First off, I believe he has been eyeing this home of ours. He wants to replace you and thinks that somehow if he comes as the friend of my darling he can dance his way to my heart.

You know those men who say oh I am your husband’s close friend, then tries to touch you when your husband is not looking. He believes that you may not be able to take care of me for much longer and thinks that perhaps it is time to start coming close.

He claims that all of your workers and colleagues either lack humility or are stupid. I do not disagree with him, it is just that I thought as a man who has no humility this would be a quality he cherished. It is like a restaurant owner hating the smell of food.