COVER

It was while growing up during my early primary school days. We were neighbours with a married couple and they were almost always fighting and the husband would beat up his wife blue and black and I would say, “people, let’s go and help her. Why are we standing and just looking,” and people would say that they were married and it’s not right to interfere. But then I would hear people around saying that perhaps that lawyer can do something even if they don’t go to court, they can counsel them, and it gave me the idea of how I could use law to fight injustice happening around me and it was what pushed me to becoming a lawyer. It is also one of the main reasons why I became the chairperson of the International Federation of Female Lawyers.

Never trust anyone but yourself. Even friends, I highly doubt if there are true friends. Even my kids gang up against me sometimes (laughs). You would sit with a friend, discuss with them and before you know what’s going round behind your back they betray you. I have learnt to be on my own and it is what drove me to making the Qur’an my companion. It gives me peace and rest of mind.

I have always wanted to be a lawyer but now that I have reached there, I would say for any lawyer who finds himself/herself at the bench or becomes a magistrate, the next step would be to be a judge at the Supreme Court and putting smiles on people’s faces.

Playing around, not having a care in the world, waking up and seeing your food ready, hang out with whoever you want to and go to bed. That has to be the best part that I miss.

Nothing gives a woman joy as much as being a mother. Bringing forth a life, you see them grow from those tiny babes to becoming fully grown. Sometimes you have to ask yourself, did this really come from me? You have to give thanks to God for bringing them to the world and growing up to be disciplined, well behaved, turning out to be beautiful grown up ladies or young men. You cannot quantify the joy in them.

That’s why whenever I sit with my friends that are yet to have their own I am mindful of what I say and careful not to dwell on my children so as not to come off insensitive or less of a woman.

It is a Michelle wristwatch of gold and silver with one diamond stud in it and it was from my late husband. Up until now, the wristwatch should be about 30 years old. It has stopped working and yet I am unable to part with it. From time to time I go and look at it and I come back. I will always cherish it. I still remember the joy I felt when he gave it to me and I know I will never get a gift that is better than it. We met when he was accompanying his friend who was coming to see my sister. Theirs didn’t work out, but ours did. I didn’t know him till then and it wasn’t like he comes to see me but each time his friend was coming to see my sister he would tag along so that he wouldn’t come alone and eventually he started noticing me because she would insist that I see her out then comee back in.

Then one day he made his intentions known that he had developed some liking towards me and would like us to give it a chance and I agreed. Eventually they broke up and we got married. He was a gentleman. He would sometimes cook for us, bring me breakfast in bed, take me on trips without the kids, he just wouldn’t care. He would say you are mine, they are going to other people when they grow up but you belong to me and we would just go and spend up to a week before coming back. His time was simply for me. We had our ups and downs like any other couple, but we always worked it out in a short amount of time. We were married for up to 23 years and he never called my name. My pet name for him was sweetheart, although he was very shy.

Firstly, I wish I could take back the hands of time to when I had a complete family. Secondly, I would like to see all three of my kids married and settled down so I can see my grandchildren. Thirdly, I would love to see all of my kids accomplished because we have gone through thick and thin and made a lot of sacrifices and would not want to see that go in vain.

Fourthly, I would like my mum to remain forever. She’s all I have left as my dad passed on back in 2001. There are times however old you are, you just need them. The fact that you know they are there gives you hope. The fifth and least is for me to reach the peak of my career. All the prior wishes surpass this one.

I’m Nupe so I love my traditional music; then of course for Western, I love jazz that, although music is beginning to take the backseat.

It’s always WhatsApp. Sometimes I even have to caution myself because of how addicted I am to it. Wristwatches, I love heels. I go for heels most of the time. My jewelry. shoes and bags. Anything too revealing.

The United States. I love Orlando because of Disney World: it is a very accommodating city and you go about your business without anyone paying attention to you and you are not looked down upon. A friend in need is a friend indeed. I love Igbo food. From Oha soup to Onugbu to Nsala to Edi Kan Kong, you name it. Cool and simple. For perfume I love Rouge by Tom Ford and for shoes and bags I like Russell & Bromley or Louis Vuitton. Patience: she would always tell me to be patient. I love football, for colour, purple, deep grey and black and I love the rainy season. I love Fridays because the weekend begins and I get to rest. I apply light make up. I use foundation, powder my brows, eyeliner and some lipstick. Role models The Prophet (PBUH) and my father. To try and take it slow, try not to be stubborn headed and at any given time, listen to people and always seek second opinion and don’t completely rely on oneself for decision making. I would have done a lot of things differently if I had used this advice on myself.