The Guardian (Nigeria)

TEETH 4 TEETH ...

That Oga CCT Press Statement Is Na Wa!

- With Justin Akpovi- Esade

AT first, T4T thought the press statement by one Ibraheem Al- Hassan, Head, Press & Public Relations of the Code of Conduct Tribunal, CCT, Abuja, was another Internet fabricated material. But alas, it was not!

The statement was debunking an allegation against the CCT boss over alleged physical assault of a shopping mall security guard.

One will attempt to x- ray the piece to reveal how not to be a Head, Press & Public Relations oga.

“Our attention was drawn on a report from some online publicatio­n with a video cliff (‘ cliff’?), suggesting Hon Chairman, Justice Danladi Y. Umar assaulted a Security Guard at Banex Plaza.”

“To start with, the said plaza has been his usual place of visits (‘ visits’) for the past 18 years for shopping and repairs of his phones, and in all these periods there have never been any time he had any turmoil with anybody.” “Unfortunat­ely, yesterday’s altercatio­ns started over a packing (‘ packing’) lot ( guess, it is the entire lot the CCT boss wanted to use that day), which Chairman met vacant and it was directly opposite a shop he want (‘ want’) to make a purchase and to fixe (‘ fixe’) his phone, when the young Security guard sighted him, he ordered that Chairman should not pack (‘ pack’) his car in that particular empty space, but Chairman asked why, the security guard couldn’t convinced (‘ convinced’) chairman, though Chairman didn’t identify himself, because to him is (‘ is’) needless and is (‘ is’) a place he visited often, but the boy was rode (‘ rode’) in his approached (‘ approached’) and threaten (‘ threaten’) to deal with Chairman if he refuse (‘ refuse’) to leave the scene.”....

Kindly go and read the rest part of the now famous press statement. I am having headache, in fact, migraine at this moment!

And to think this Mr. Al- Hassan heads the Press & Public Relations department of a whole CCT!

His defence may be that an aide wrote that statement on his behalf, but did he not read through and sign off on it? CONCLUSION: Na night school dat man attend.

Nollywood Star’s Feeling Like Dangote...

NOLLYWOODC­OMEDY star, Charles Inojie is the latest Aliko Dangote of the Nigerian movie sector otherwise called Nollywood if you are in doubt, just Google search the video that necessitat­ed the writing of this piece of news, and your doubts will be cleared.

And so, T4T was prowling online earlier in the week, looking for who has done this or that. The search stopped at the Facebook Timeline of Charles Inojie who was sitting so majestical­ly against the backdrop of a mud wall. In fact, the way Charlie siddon, even Dangote, the richest man in Africa nor go siddon like dat.

In the video, Charlie told the world how he suffered as a small boy in that village, walking miles to get water for his grand mum. And now that God has ‘ blessed’ him, he decided to give back to the society ( just like Dangote does, all the time).

He completed and handed over the water project for the grand mum’s village. So, now, the folks won’t have to walk miles to get water like Charlie did back in the day. Aren’t the young ones in that village so lucky to have someone like Charlie now? No doubt they are.

READ THE MESSAGE ATTACHED TO THE VIDEO: “Glory be to God for His grace. The Ohordua Community Water Project was yesterday commission­ed and handed over to the community for use. # CIF # charlesino­jiefoundat­ion # latterdays­aintschari­ties # nademdeyru­shus.”

If you want to see Charlie sitting down and talking like Dangote who just finished another multi billion- dollar company, go and watch that video. I don do wetin I fit do finis.

That Nollywood Actress Should Go For Speech Training

FOrwant of what to do, T4T decided to watch a Nollywood movie. It was on Monday. The movie featured Funsho Adeola and Doris Simeone and titled Save The Day. And just to add, it was directed by Chris Enegi.

Doris Simeone, you know her na, yes, yes... there was an issue involving her husband with a once upon a time very popular Nollywood actress, yes, and... well, find out the rest yasef.

Anyway, pretty Doris, was telling her ‘ husband’ in the movie, Funsho Adeola, that she had prepared his favourite meal and this was what T4T heard: “I ‘ heven’ prepared...” What was that? Oh, she actually wanted to say, “I even prepared…” Wow, I never knew Doris had that mother tongue interferen­ce thing common with most actors in the local language genre.

Advise: If una wey dey act Yoruba or any language films nor fit speak engrish the way dem dey speak am, make una kuku stick to una local language films make we rest abeg.

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