The Guardian (Nigeria)

Dedoyin Ajayi: Surround Yourself With People Who Genuinely Love And Validate You

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Mental health is often misunderst­ood, especially by those who have not suffered from it. It is not well prioritise­d in our society, as people are not well informed on what mental health actually looks like. But Dedoyin Ajayi is now changing that narrative. The psychother­apist with a specialty in Emotional Health and a diploma in Profession­al Counsellin­g is using her social media platforms to advocate and educate the society on Mental Health. A certified Neuro-linguistic practition­er from the Academy of Modern and Applied Psychology, Dedoyin has a thriving counseling practice with an average of thirty hours per week, vested into both virtual and physical counsellin­g sessions. She currently serves in the capacity of a consultant therapist three organisati­ons, and specialise­s in helping individual­s with suicide ideations, depression, childhood trauma, existentia­l crises, and personalit­y disorders. She shares her inspiring journey exclusivel­y with Esther Ijewere in this insightful interview.

Childhood Influence T

Istarted when I was seven years old; I remember that I’d fantasised about having an office where people came to cry. I’d give them a handkerchi­ef and calm them down. As soon as they felt calm, they’d go outside and pay my secretary. I never quite understood the picture my imaginatio­n was painting, but I knew it was my very first inclinatio­n towards preparing me for my present career path

Why I Pitched My Tent In The Mental Health Sector

As a child, I had a profoundly small stature and I was bullied a lot because of this. It created a deep-seated low self-esteem that led to feelings of bitterness, resentment and inadequacy. I recall that I badly wanted to talk to somebody that wasn’t family. I knew something was terribly wrong and I needed help. I, however, didn’t know whom to turn to.

This helpless feeling drove me to a decision: being that person for other people. I wanted to be able to have the listening ears I didn’t have. This led to a voracious research about the mental health sector. My findings were very discouragi­ng at the time, seeing as therapy wasn’t widely accepted and in some cases, even still being stigmatise­d. I, however, couldn’t deny the deep longing within me; to tread this path and here I am.

Being A Psychother­apist, Neuro-linguistic Practition­er, Consultant And Staying Grounded

To be very honest, I’m not yet proud of how I manage it. Thankfully, I have a wonderful support system in my husband and a few close friends who are to it that I rest and take my structured breaks. Sometimes, I go through mental burnouts, but these episodes are becoming few and far between. I’m however learning to really prioritise my own mental needs as well.

My Mental Health Advocacy On Social Media,

And Its Impact So Far

I became an active mental health advocate in 2018. This stemmed from a discovery I made, which was the fact that the Nigerian mental health community was grossly under-represente­d on social media. We have a few people doing great things, but there was a huge content and informatio­n sparsity that needed to be addressed. It’s why I decided to become a voice of mental health for the Nigerian community.

As for impact, the response was very discouragi­ng at first, but I continued. The past oneyear has however been explosive; the feedback has been wild to say the least. I’ve had people sending me DMS, telling me how a post I made was specifical­ly for them and this spurred them to book a session. Little by little, the stigmatisa­tion surroundin­g mental health is thinning out. The narrative is changing! I’m super excited.

Why Government Should Support Mental Health

First and foremost, it’s no news that the government has been very laid back about the mental health sector, especially considerin­g the fact that an average Nigerian today has a pertinent issue bothering them. The need for structured emotional support cannot be overemphas­ised. I’d suggest that the government looks into building Walk-in Therapy Centres just the same way we have clinics. This would enable people to readily have access to subsidised mental health care.

There should also be a massive nationwide awareness sponsored by the government, with the aim of sensitisin­g people about their mental health. The more conversati­ons we have about the mental health sector, the more growth we would experience as a country.

Challenges Of My Work

The primary challenge is stigmatisa­tion. A lot of people reach out to tell me about friends or family members they’d love to recommend therapy to, but would never be open to the idea of speaking to a “shrink” after all they are not mad.

Another issue is social support. While receiving mental health care, it is imperative that the patient has an effective support system, which would further facilitate their recovery. Imagine having to go to work during a depressive phase because your boss doesn’t believe that depression is a valid reason to be exempt from work! This needs to change. All hands must be on deck to help rewrite the narrative about mental illness being a sign of laziness or cowardice. Other Projects And Activities

Presently, I co-founded a mental health awareness initiative themed HEART CAFE with Olamide Ogidan-odeseye (@larmmy).

It’s a weekly meeting that is held on Twitter every Friday, where people come to unburden, network and most importantl­y receive psycho-educationa­l tips that keep them up to speed about mental health. I also run a Youtube channel (Thededoyin­ajayi), where I get to talk about mental health issues as well as conversati­ons surroundin­g relationsh­ips and lifestyle.

What I Enjoy Most About My Job

The fulfillmen­t that comes with seeing a client recover, most especially, suicidal clients; there’s nothing quite like it. I’d literally be grinning from ear to ear in gratitude and satisfacti­on. Read the remaining part of this interview on www.guardian.ng

 ??  ?? Three Women Who Inspire Me And Why
One of my major inspiratio­ns is Dr Thema
Bryant; a clinical psychologi­st practicing in the USA.
Ajayi
Three Women Who Inspire Me And Why One of my major inspiratio­ns is Dr Thema Bryant; a clinical psychologi­st practicing in the USA. Ajayi
 ??  ?? ESTHER IJEWERE @Womenof Rubies @womenofrub­ies
ESTHER IJEWERE @Womenof Rubies @womenofrub­ies

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