The Guardian (Nigeria)

Encourage Your Child With Positive Words

- By Ijeoma Thomas- Odia PHOTO CREDIT: KD Novelties

EVERY parent wants a child who is confident, smart and kind. These are qualities that positive and encouragin­g words can help your child imbibe.

These words are also key to moulding them to become the kind of adults we will be proud of. That’s why it’s important to choose the right encouragin­g words; praise them when it’s deserved, and use language that builds self- esteem.

When we encourage our children with our positive words and affirmatio­ns, we are boosting their selfesteem, helping them learn to believe in themselves, assisting in developing their imaginatio­n and creativity, and also motivating them to continue to try hard and do their best in everything.

Parents should also ensure to praise the efforts of their children when they attempt and finish a task, it further challenges your child to not only do more, but also become better at that task.

While research has shown that the kind of praise we give to our children can ultimately influence and motivate them later in life, parents should focus on the effort their children put in a an activity rather than the talent.

Here are a few words and phrases that are most likely to have positive effect on your child:

I’m grateful for you.

You make me proud.

You have great ideas.

Your words are meaningful. Your opinions matter, you are important.

This family wouldn’t be the same without you.

I know you did your best.

I’m listening; that’s a very fair point.

Don’t be afraid to be you. What you did was awesome.

Being your parent is my favorite job.

I learn new things from you every day.

Choosing specific phrases to use can also help encourage them. Don’t generalise the positive words of encouragem­ent too much. Be specific to what they are working to accomplish. If they are painting a picture, for example, focus on the different colours they have chosen rather than just saying good job.

You also want to be careful to avoid giving your child too much praise. Too much praise can actually result in negative effects down the line. They will begin to think they no longer have to try to succeed and their self- confidence may be off the charts.

As parents our goal is to encourage our children while making a positive impact. While using positive words on your child, ensure you do not offer praises that are not sincere and honest. If the praise you are offering doesn’t feel sincere, then they will likely not feel encouraged at all.

When offering encouragem­ent, you need to avoid controllin­g or conditiona­l praise, as well. When you use praise and encouragem­ent to control your child, then they think this approval and positivity depends solely on performanc­e and great results. Selfworth is important for a child and can begin to develop as young as two years old.

Positive self- worth will ultimately equate to positive terms and higher selfesteem. When your children view themselves as having positive self- worth, they will also develop high selfesteem, which will ultimately transcend to their successes and ability to continue doing more.

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