Domestic Violence: Letter To Minister Of Women Affairs

HONORABLE minister, I realize that you have a need; a great need at that, to show your employer that both you and your team were active, proactive and working. Nevertheless, let me first inform you that the art of work since the Stone Age; when men and women walked about naked and hid in the caves, has followed this pattern namely; quench the fire to kill the smoke, place the horse before the cart and; neutralize the cause in order to stop the effect. These principles have never changed and will never change whether you are minister or not. Now I find it really absurd that you are in the forefront of advocating and encouraging kill- the smoke- without- quenching- the- fire. For instance, sometimes in the year of 2023, the social media was awashed with the story of an Akwa Ibom- based lawyer who brutalized his wife to the extent that she was almost naked during the fight. As soon as that news got to your office, your first reaction was to order for the arrest and detention of the said barrister. Incidentally, while you travelled that caustic route; the affected woman started to plead for her husband’s release.

Unfortunately, the woman’s action did not affect you that your approach was not only absurd but far away from how normal human beings addressed issues. You were supposed to call the couples; find out what led to such a show of shame before you ordered for anyone’s arrest. About two weeks ago, the social media again featured a sad story of an Onitsha- based lawyer who domestically abused her maid to the point of using a hot iron on her. Again, without thinking; you placed a 2 million naira bounty on her arrest.

I recalled in 2021 when Mr. Ahmed Isah ( also known as the ordinary president) of the Human Rights FM slapped the woman in the cause of avenging the minor whose hair was scotched with fire. Ahmed and his radio station was suspended for 30 days because of his actions. He was so penalized because he had no rights to assume the place of the courts when courts of law existed in Nigeria and are very open to adjudicate such matters. Today, I see another Ahmed Isah in you. But more annoying, you’re a lawyer and; what I see is zeal that is without knowledge.

So, I decided to write you. But first kindly answer the questions below. Honorable minister, in a country where the levels of sound morals are so low that one cannot vouch for a public office holder’s integrity to not steal public funds; do you think it was wise for us to adopt a- no- child- flogging approach at this time of national life like it’s done in the First World countries? Dear minister, are you aware that the first world countries adopted this approach because first their public conduct culture is so entrenched that any misconduct is punished without fear or favour? Are you aware that in the US for instance, an average American preferred to commit suicide than to be named and shamed for breach of public trust or abuse of office? And with a system like that, it was easy for a parent to correct their children by simply pointing them to the fate of some criminal that could befall them if they continued in misbehavior? What system do you have in place here that could serve as deterrent if parents pointed their children to it? Is it your highly irresponsible and thieving political class or the yahoo boys or the fake religious leaders?

What do you have in place in the country that makes you go about ordering the arrest of persons as if you yourself were a saint? Before the Chinese or those in Singapore decided to curtail domestic violence, child flogging and abuse of minors; the first things they did was to entrench a deep enough culture of self- awareness and high moral values. They made efforts to strengthen their country’s local currencies, improve the standard of living and insist on leadership by good example. Are you aware that in Singapore, citizens don’t spit just anywhere they deemed fit?

So, on what basis are you building your advocacy of no- to- domestic- violence and no- to- child- flogging on? If our ancestors who were not educated as you and I are had sense enough to know that in order to kill a smoke, all you need to do is to quench the fire; then what are you aiming at? I expect you honorable minister to use your office to articulate ideas that can restore our lost moral values, promote minimum acceptable behavior and stimulate renewed trust in our shared destiny. You are minister in a country where family value is dead and all you do is order arrests?

You are minister in a country where indecent dressing, drug abuse and prostitution are rife and all you do is promote the culture of the West where you know too well that systemic rot like those in Nigeria are absent? If a man beats his wife; isn’t it sensible to check him in with a psychiatric instead of arresting him? And when a woman verbally abuses her husband; do you resolve this by arrest? Yes, as reported; the lawyer had abused her maid. So, how was arrest going to redress the wrong? How was arrest going to deter other caregivers from repeating the wrongs?

Yes, the lawyer abused his wife but how will arrest help? As a race, the black man is not unfortunate. As a continent, Africans are not unintelligent. What has made us appear both unfortunate and unintelligent is the fact that people like you promote the mindset of assessing the White man from his fruits instead of assessing him from his roots! Is there a glory without a story? But folks like you propagate the idea that glory can exist without a story. The other day, I was reacting to one proponent of women empowerment who works with a major TV station.

So, I wanted to know how she got hired by that station particularly if she was hired because the station wanted to empower women or because she was prepared and eminently qualified to get the job. If she was taken because it was an empowerment then she was right to preach women empowerment but if she got hired because she qualified for the job then she was a demon on a task to deceive other women, to preach women empowerment! She should rather preach hard work, good networking and selfimprovement.

Let me state my concerns for writing you as I conclude this letter. Between adopting the liberal culture of the Americans and adopting the value system of the Singaporeans; which do you think could quickly translate Nigeria from a third world country to a first world in 10 years’ time? Between rolling out an attitudinal change curriculum in all our schools and, arresting and placing bounties on citizens because of misbehavior; which do you think could quickly trigger the much needed transformation that Nigeria craves? How you answered these questions will tell whether you built your own family by disrespecting your husband or by honoring and submitting to him. It will also tell whether you built the house you now reside in from the roof down or from the DPC up.