CAN YOU STOMACH YOUR SPOUSE?
The couple sat around the our kitchen table, their differences all laid out for my wife and I to see. Each had made their case and now stood firmly upon the justification of why it was they who’d been wronged with an expectation that we would see things from their point of view and rebuke the offending party thereby saving their marriage. The irony wasn’t lost on me that the more I looked at them and the deeper I thought of their perceived grievances, the more I saw them as strong compliments, one to the other and a potently perfect couple. The quarrels between them were explosive, just shy of violent yet when we analyzed what they fought so hard over, it was really about the small weaknesses in each other’s character that had been elevated far beyond the amazing gifts they possessed in the many areas of their lives.
Marriage these days holds a special fascination to me as I find myself in the midst of counseling so many young couples. A vast majority careened into marriage with little or no courtship, on the back of faith, blinded by love and a belief that all will be rosy through to eternity. The counsel varies from one couple to another yet each brings with them a clear reminder to me of my marriage journey and the issues we confronted then and soldiered through till date. I see in each of them, the same confused bravado of my youth and how by stubbornly refusing to accommodate each other’s shortcomings and appreciating the others strength, we often send our union spiraling towards the rocks and a most certain death.
Our God in His infinite wisdom constituted the institution of marriage to be a blessing to His creation. It was to reflect His glory, to fill the earth with godly offsprings and bring two individuals of distinct differences together to become one in Him. For this reason the enemy is sworn to attack marriages and defile the home in every way possible. As I focused on the shortcomings inside my home, I sought to fill them outside of marriage unwittingly walking into the cunning masterpiece of a trap that caused Adam and Eve to fall, the tendency to focus so intently on that one thing we don’t have while forgetting the tremendous blessing of abundance in all we do have. In the end, through His grace and mercy, I was awakened to the truth that all I needed I had for in marriage lies much abundant blessings. Will you overlook your spouse’s weakness? May God help us see the greatness is our partners today.