FROM HER POINT OF VIEW BY RUKY SALAKO

THISDAY Style - - FRONT PAGE -

Hello ev­ery­one, I know we are all do­ing ok… So much has hap­pened in the last cou­ple of months, from Ac­co­lades, As­sur­ance, Royal wed­ding and the con­tro­ver­sial Givenchy wed­ding gown to the is­sue of celibacy and preg­nancy. I have def­i­nitely missed you all.

Don’t get too ex­cited, be­cause we are not dwelling on any of these to­day, I think I have a more press­ing is­sue I need to talk about. ‘For­give and For­get’.

Peo­ple say men do not for­give but they for­get, while women for­give but NEVER for­get, I agree to an ex­tent though. These two words go side by side and come out very easy, but not a lot of women live by it. In fact, I dare to say most Women don’t be­lieve in for­give and for­get, they ac­tu­ally can’t, and I have my rea­sons for con­clud­ing.

The other day I saw a movie on TV, where the wife poi­soned the hus­band, I nor­mally would rather be in front of my lap­top or just sleep, but I found my­self sit­ting back to fol­low the story. So, this cou­ple had been mar­ried for over 28 years, and in the last 26 years, the wife con­stantly poi­soned her hus­band! Yes…poi­son!!! What did he do?? Ap­par­ently he brought a mis­tress to their home, and she bore a daugh­ter for him. He pleaded with his wife, asked for forgiveness, in fact the mis­tress even­tu­ally died, so it’s not as if he was still see­ing the mis­tress.

When asked why the wife did what she did, she said she wanted to pun­ish her hus­band... so I won­dered why she didn’t leave if she was that un­happy? Why didn’t she cry out if she was not ok with his pleas? Why pre­tend that all was well when it was ac­tu­ally not? Too many ques­tions yea? But this is lit­tle com­pared to what I heard on ra­dio one cool evening as I was driv­ing in traf­fic on my way home. Peo­ple say men do not for­give but they for­get, while women for­give but NEVER for­get...

It was a call -in -pro­gramme; I think ‘Shar­ing Life Is­sues’ or so. This lady calls in, and the next thing I hear is un­be­liev­able. The lady, mar­ried for about 18 years, had four kids and guess what? None of the kids was for her hus­band! Now the shocking part was that the real fa­ther of the kids had no clue that he was their fa­ther! The pre­sen­ter asked in dis­be­lief how she did it? Her re­sponse “I go to Kenya to see this man, he gets me preg­nant, I come back home have sex with my hus­band, and move on”. Why she did it? “My hus­band cheated on me while we were dat­ing, so I made up my mind to marry him and deal with him. In his old age, he will have ab­so­lutely noth­ing”. This scared me sin­cerely; some women are deeper than the word it­self. She went on to say that her hus­band was not aware, but the thought alone gave her joy. My God! How mean you may say. I must say I have heard all sorts in this my few years of adult­hood, but then, can you fully blame these women?

I think women do not for­give and for­get be­cause they sacrifice a lot of them­selves for loved ones (part­ners), so when you hurt them, they can­not for­give you es­pe­cially when they give you 105% of them­selves.

Maybe Women for­give; they for­give ev­ery­thing, even the lack of love. They for­give that you take them for granted, that you pre­fer foot­ball with the boys to quiet time with them, they for­give that you for­get all the im­por­tant dates from birth­days to an­niver­saries. That you con­stantly cheat on them and apol­o­gize, and even when you for­get to buy them gifts on their spe­cial days, women un­der­stand.

Women for­give the lack of a man in a man, the do­mes­tic, fi­nan­cial, emo­tional and ver­bal abuse, the near death ex­pe­ri­ence you put them through. Even when she says she can­not for­give, she does. But a woman never for­gets, she never for­gets what makes or breaks her, she never for­gets a man who brings out the an­gel or de­mon in her. NEVER.

A woman is filled with depth, unimag­in­able depth, she has mul­ti­ple per­son­al­i­ties, some of which you may never get to see. When you wrong a woman who gen­uinely loves you, she stores it up nat­u­rally, and all is well un­til you wrong her again and again, she re­plays ev­ery­thing you ever did wrong since she met you, and then she shuts down. Now when she shuts down and wants to leave, let her go, it is bet­ter for you. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned... What is un­for­giv­able? What is un­for­get­table? What is your jus­ti­fi­ca­tion?

For com­ments, opin­ions, ques­tions, is­sues or if you have any­thing you would like us to talk about, reach me on ruky.salako@ this­daylive.com, @fromher­pointofviewng or Text +2347055555888

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