Ramsey Noauh Says Love is Not All That is Needed in Marriage
Nollywood actor, Ramsey Noauh is arguably one of Nigeria’s most talented and popular actors. And over the years, the 46 years old thespian who has stayed married for 15 years irrespective of the plethora of divorce cases in his industry has also remained as one of the most consistent actors.
Responding to questions in one of his latest interviews steered by Premium Times, the father of three gave shocking response to one of the questions when he said true love dies. It was a sharp difference to his lover boy roles he has played in so many movies. “It is not love that will bond you. Forget love, love dies. What sustains the marriage is companionship. If you cannot find companionship in your partner from the beginning, then you do not have a partner. Don’t lust after a woman because of her beauty and don’t lust after a guy because he is handsome. You must lust after the companionship that bonds you together. It should be like “for some reasons you cannot do without her; for some reasons there is something about her that brings you home. It may be her sense of humour; or the way she keeps the home. Same thing applies for the ladies; there must be something about him that you cannot do without. If this quality is not there, then you don’t have a companion.”
Ramsey who has also tried to keep his family off the media spoke on why his 15 years marriage is still waxing stronger. “My wife and I have an understanding. And this is one of the reasons our marriage is still standing strong. We avoid the public eye because the public has a way of messing up relationships. Sometimes, my wife goes ahead of me into the event, so we don’t do red carpet. It is the same people that harass you for not taking your wife to red carpet event that will sit back and point fingers at how you both look.”
Commenting on his colleagues who have been unlucky with love and marriage, he said nobody gives advice when it comes to matters of the heart. “People say they are going for counseling and all but at the end, it is what is in their heart they will still want to do. Because those things in your heart are laced with emotions and emotions are very hard to tackle. When you have emotion that is full of jealousy, hate or anger, it is hard to break it until you exercise it. That is why when your dad screams ‘do not follow that boy’, the teenager does not listen until she has satisfied what her heart desires from the boy. Most times, you learn by experience. Companionship is not easy. When everybody is running into marriages as if marriage wants to go out of fashion, take your time and be ready for it. Be ready to accept someone with his flaws. My wife has her problems and I also have mine. A lot of it actually and I know. You must be able to accommodate the other person.”
Ramsey also said contrary to a widely held notion, the success of a marriage largely rests on the woman. “These days, a lot of marriages are based on equality. A woman wants to get 50 per cent of whatever she is giving into the marriage back from the man. This has led to the breakdown of many marriages. From time our mothers used to be the women that held their marriages. They were in charge of the home. Our mothers took charge of everything but today women don’t want that kind of responsibility. Hence, it is affecting marriages. My wife belongs to the category of our mothers. She believes in sustaining our marriage and holding it strong. So whenever I am asked how we have been able to keep it together, I tell them my wife is the woman who has actually held our home.”
He admitted that marriages do have own challenges. “Don’t get me wrong, don’t think that we don’t have our moments of disagreement. But it depends on the way we handle it. Women cannot stand the heat in the kitchen anymore and they just want to run. That is why marriages are crumbling. A lot people don’t want to work hard anymore, because marriage is hard work. So when you talk about marriages crashing, it’s not my call. The only problem that I have is to make sure I provide food for the family.”
Aside from acting, the actor said he like spending time with his family. “Whenever the need arises, I get involved in humanitarian and charitable activities. It has been more about film, family and giving back to the society.”