Command School School Alumni Alumni Elections – Ayo Fayose Help!!!!!!

My brother forget your proposed declaration for presidency come 1st October. We have a more serious issue of national importance and urgency that needs your quick attention. You see, I attended Command Secondary School in Ipaja, one of the greatest schools in this country and the elections for the Presidency is coming up this December. As a bona fide member of the association who has not failed to pay his dues ( I only missed last year when I was on exile) and who have attended only one alumni meeting in the last 30 years I threw in my hat. My Lord come and see the kind of resistance to my candidacy o. The way they are pushing back is beginning to look like the way Nigerians will resist you too should you seriously embark on this your campaign. Hence, the need for us to join hands. I have embarked on a series of consultations assuring them that this is not Lagos APC and as such I will not accept any kind of imposition, I have tried to reach Banire who is busy fighting his own matter but the paddy no gree take my call. I have assured them that I am perfectly healthy and have even offered to send my medical certificate and even challenged the school team to a game of scrabble to test my fitness. My presidency will not involve any medical vacation and I have even offered not to probe the incumbent administration which does not reflect national spread. So you see my issue, despite all this, I am still sensing that the presidency still remains elusive. Your Excellency, you need to support me. We are 10,000 members and if we win, I will galvanise support from our members towards your presidential campaign. If you insist on the presidency, at least you can be sure of the block vote that should throw you up.

I really do not understand why these people do not want me but prefer to go for reluctant leaders, people who although have better pedigree but are not prepared for the task. Me, right from my school days, I always knew I would be president of the alumni and everything I did during those days was aimed at capturing this dream. I was the first to be flogged at the assembly grounds, this was strategically aimed at boosting my popularity amongst the girls. I was a good public orator. You should see me toasting the young girls, giving them reasons to come with me. I introduced Volley ball to the school and taught the female teachers how to dance the rhumba dance. I was the football coach and an inspiration to all those who had disciplinary problems. I introduced the eating of fried eggs on Sundays in school which at that time was a luxury and showed all the boys how to fly their shirt collars while putting comb in their back pockets. Your Excellency, despite all and great love for the school which has seen me discuss the possible affiliation of the school with the Charly Boy school of #our mumu don do which teaches the United Nations approved tactics of fainting as a veritable tool of effective non-violent protest, these people have failed to support my Presidency.

So I have come to you as a last resort. My reason for coming to you is so you teach me the doctrine of stomach infrastructure so that I can see if we can use it to sway the vote. Should I go ahead to distribute 10,000 loaves of bread or do I go to the next meeting on Okada and share Akara? I have even worn jeans and T-shirt to present my speech and have sworn that the incumbent president, Mr. Olumide Lala has incurable rashes on his bum bum. All to no avail. Frustration is catching me o. My brother please come to my aid, we have to conquer these people o. If I try civilian tactics he no work, I go cross to the other side o . aaaaaaah am I appealing to the right person, shouldn’t I be talking to the Jagaban himself? Abeg, where is this keke Marwa we have to head up to the Lion of Bourdilon?