The Other Room
any incident; but in the ‘return match’, Saidu literally took matters onto his own hands by going for the head of Inusa, instead of hitting him on the back as the rules of the game dictates. Quite naturally, the love game ended on a tragic note: Inusa is now of blessed memory while Saidu is cooling off at a Police detention centre.
There is a way in which we can connect the three stories in a nation where gender not only shapes the distribution of power but also defines the mechanism and consequences of its relations. For instance, Ajimobi’s ‘yourOlori-was-running-errands-for-me’ loaded statement goes beyond a mere attempt to humiliate the Ibadan monarch; it speaks to an unequal power relation with gender as sub-text. The same goes for the attempt to foist on a divorced woman, regardless of who her former husband may be, a lifetime of forced celibacy, for reasons that border on mere ego, even when couched in some inexplicable traditions. And when men begin to physically duel for the hand of a woman in marriage, it goes without saying that the victor reserves enormous powers over such ‘trophies’ when won.
These are of course not isolated cases as they fit into a pattern of unequal gender relations in Nigeria. That explains why a 70-year-old widow in Ebonyi State was recently paraded naked around her village for having an affair with a 30-year-old man. Against the background that the age differential that led to the molestation of the woman would not have mattered were she to be a man, and the love interest of the opposite sex, you get the picture that the challenge of gender inequalities in our country is deeply political.
Unfortunately, this unequal relationship has more or less been given official imprimatur by President Muhammadu Buhari, whose appointments do not reflect gender sensitivity. Besides, by saying, as he did last year in Germany, that the role of his wife does not extend beyond the kitchen and “the other room”, the president was merely reinforcing the traditional gender stereotype that has no bearing to the reality of modern Nigeria and the contributions of our women.
That very point has just been underscored by the Albert Einstein Foundation that is currently “embarking on a global initiative to inspire the next generation of brilliant minds and bring fresh thinking to the problems facing our planet”. To celebrate the 100th anniversary of the publication of Einstein’s ‘General Theory of Relativity’, the Foundation is releasing to the public the world’s first 3D-printed book titled, “Genius: 100 Visions of the Future”. And it is remarkable that among the “100 of the leading influencers, thinkers, artists and scientists of our time” selected from across the globe by the Foundation, are two Nigerians who happen to be women: Literary icon, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie and technocrat-turned activist, Obiageli (Oby) Ezekwesili.
With each of these 100 personalities, among them Nobel Laureates and renowned scholars, writing a 250-word essay for the historic publication that will be launched this weekend in Montreal, Canada, the point I am making is that there is nothing to suggest that men are more endowed than women, even in Nigeria. Therefore, there is no basis for the privilege system that we seem to have institutionalized or the gender arrogance that has only held back our nation from the prosperity that comes from empowering our women and girls.
However, I must state very clearly here that I am not a feminist, whatever that may mean. But as a father of two girls and a boy, I refuse to accept that any of my children is superior or inferior to the other on account of gender while I detest all practices that tend to put down our girls and women or limit their capacity for self-actualisation. That was the point the National Assembly missed when, in the course of a recent Constitutional amendment process, they practically rendered married women in Nigeria “stateless” in the distribution of opportunities in the manner they dealt with the issue of “citizenship and indigeneship”.
All said, I am quite aware that it is not easy to change cultures and traditions that have evolved over centuries. But to develop as a nation, we must drop all gender bias and move towards an inclusive society that recognizes both the worth and the contributions (including the intangibles) that our women bring to the table. That will require not only deliberate policy choices but also a change in the mindset of the men in positions of power at all levels.