And Four Other Things…
Hurray! President Muhammadu Buhari has pulled Nigeria out of recession. How did he do it? Pardon my ignorance. I thought Nigeria exited recession mainly because (1) militants stopped bombing the pipelines and (2) crude oil prices recovered. Nigeria’s production increased from roughly 900,000bpd to about 1.8mbpd after militants decided to have mercy. And so, the GDP — doped by sniffing more petrodollars — grew by 0.55% between April and June 2017, halting a run of five successive quarters of negative results. Ladies and gentlemen, that is how the APC government “fulfilled another promise” by pulling Nigeria out of recession! Hahahaha.
We’ve just been told that because of the Eid holiday, ministers did not have time to prepare for the weekly FEC meeting where policy issues and memos are treated. They were obviously overdosed on Sallah meat and jollof rice — and they belched so hard they forgot that there was still a country that needed their attention. I know the next thing they will tell us is that FEC meeting is not compulsory. On one occasion FEC did not hold because “the agenda was light” — in a country that has no light. In another instance, they said they were “on Easter break”. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry as the APC continues to demonstrate that it is just as amateurish as the PDP. Change.
There must be something between President Buhari and Aishas. His sweetheart, named Aisha, threatened on international radio last year that she would not campaign for her husband in 2019 because of one reason or the other. Now, his minister, named Aisha (Alhassan), says she would campaign for Alhaji Atiku Abubakar in 2019 even if Buhari decides to seek re-election. Those are two brazen body blows for the president. I have never seen a first lady attack her husband so openly the way Aisha did, neither have I seen a serving minister politically demarket the boss so openly since Nigeria was amalgamated in 1914. Startling.
When the Egmont group suspended Nigeria’s financial intelligence unit in July, reports blamed EFCC for leaking sensitive information to sections of the media and also for fighting against making the unit independent. The attorney-general, Mr. Abubakar Malami, subsequently asked EFCC to forward to him the list of highprofile cases it is investigating — in line with the EFCC Act. EFCC sent the list to VicePresident Yemi Osinbajo and Malami. What happened next? The list, in no time, made its way to the media. Who leaked it? EFCC? Presidency? Office of the attorney-general? Angel Gabriel? Whatever it is, the anti-graft war is becoming a laughing matter. Tragic.