LEGAL HUMOUR

Your attorney and your mother-in-law are trapped in a burning building. You only have time to save one of them. Do you: (1) have lunch?, or (2) go to a movie?

What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a Bar Association Convention?

The caterer.

Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons? 1. If one side has one, the other side has to get one; 2. Once launched, they can't be recalled; and 3. When they land, they screw everything up for the next 20 years.

Why does the Bar prohibit lawyers from having sex with their clients? To prevent clients from being billed twice for the same service.

A man walking along the beach one day finds a bottle. He rubs it and, sure enough, out popped a genie. "I will grant you three wishes," said the genie. "But there is a catch." "What catch?" the man asked. The genie replied, "Every time you make a wish, every lawyer in the world will receive double the wish you were granted." "Well, I can live with that! No problem!" replied the elated man. "What is your first wish?" asked the genie. "Well, I've always wanted a Ferrari!" POOF! A Ferrari appeared in front of the man. "Now every lawyer in the world has TWO Ferraris," said the genie. "Next wish?" "I'd love a million dollars," replied the man. POOF! One million dollars appeared at his feet. "Now every lawyer in the world has TWO million dollars," said the genie. "Well, that's okay, as long as I've got my million," replied the man. "What is your third and final wish?" The man thought long and hard, and finally said, "Well, you know, I've always wanted to donate a kidney.