I Got Married Early to Gain Freedom from My Parents
today. When I was very young I thought I would end up as a professor of Mathematics. My father was a professor of Education. His first degree was in Mathematics and I found Mathematics extremely easy. It was one subject that I did not have to concentrate on in class. I did not have to revise; I did not have to do anything and I just kept topping the class. I felt that I would just be a Mathematics professor.
So what changed?
When I went into the University of Ibadan at 16 to the Mathematics department, it was a different ball game. It needed hard work for which I was completely unprepared for. So, when I went to prelim, the mechanics, applied mathematics and I asked if we had started the syllabus. I was the youngest compared to the rest of the class. I doubt if there was anybody under 40, so I felt alone. I told my father I don’t think I could continue.
How did your dad take it?
My father’s view is that whatever you start, you must finish it. If you are studying Law and later decide to change to something else, he advised you to finish the Law first. My brother started studying Medicine and wanted to change to Law and it was a long argument – in the long run he got his way and he studied Law. When I said I was not studying Mathematics but preferred Economics, he said that wasn’t the way to handle life. In the long run, someone talked me to Accounting and I crossed over to the University of Lagos because University of Ibadan did not offer Accounting. I enjoyed the course so much that I advised one of my friends who was studying the same course at the University of Ibadan to cross over the next year. She is the first female President, Nigerian First Chartered Institute of Management Accountants (CIMA).
What was life like growing up under a father who was a professor of Mathematics?
I am lucky to have my parents – lovely. My enterprise skills were from my mother. My father had a very informed sense of humour. Looking back, my parents didn’t slap or hit people on the face. We discussed. My mum would say, ‘if your family member can’t tell you when you are being an ass, who will?’ If my older brother messes himself up, I will tell him straight away.
What would be your advice to a young entrepreneur seeking to toe your career path?
The heavens are big enough to take all the birds. Everybody has different creative ideas. You must look at yourself and see where your passion lies. Be original.
What drives your creativity?
My eye. I go out; I look and I listen to my customers.
Are you thinking of retirement soon?
I am not planning to retire. Retirement will come in its own time. Because my work is mental, I cannot retire. My father got his higher doctorate at 70 from the University of London. He wrote his last book at 90. Once you are cerebral, there is no retirement.
Why did you get married at the age of 23?
My parents were strict. We could go out, but we had to be home at 6pm. We had more freedom in the university because there was no lights out. By the time I was graduating, it signalled the end of the freedom, so that was the time to get married.
How did you meet your hubby?
At the university, he was studying Mass Communication. Forty-two years down the line, if I had to do it all over again I will still pick him and he says the same. Life together has been fun. I went out with other people because I must have spent three years in the university before we met. I have always been fat as a baby. Despite being fat people liked me. So if I had a boyfriend who said I was putting on weight that was the end of it. If the boy said, ‘Dupe, you mean you are going to eat that ice cream; aren’t you scared you will be fat?’ I would say, ‘If you are not fanning that beauty about me then you are not mine.’ In fairness, my husband doesn’t look at fat or slim, but the fact that are we formed together. We do not particularly have the same outlook. He is a night person, I am a morning person. But I don’t disturb him. The important thing to me is that I trust him. When that trust is broken you know that is the end. Honestly, right from the bottom of my heart I have no regrets whatsoever. Within a month I knew that we had a connection. I felt I could trust him. There’s a level of protection even as a lad, he expressed towards me, and that shows he is committed to me. He is very protective of me. I am naturally very protective of him too. I will look after his health especially as he is over 60. I also change my cooking methods from time to time.
What’s the secret behind the 42 years of marriage?
I am not silent when I am upset. We listen to each other.
How do yyou you jjugglegg juggle beingg being an entrepreneur, ntrepreneur,p a wife,f wife, mother and nd ggrandmother? grandmother?
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Away from work, what do you do?
I read.
You seems to like designers?
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