Dr. Goodluck Ebele Jonathan: A Jolly Good Fellow
He celebrated his 60th birthday during the week. Although I did not see any picture of him with mummy who I want to believe with all this wahala with EFCC was really not in a mood to celebrate. Anyway, our daddy turned 60 and all his children both biological and political all came together to wish him well on this special day. I will also not be left out in sending my congratulatory message. Moving from a shoeless wanderer to the Presidency is definitely not ‘’goodluck’’ as some observers would want to say. Daddy has been imbued with some qualities that the rest of us can only pray for. Daddy as you celebrate this wonderful age, I would like to admonish you to kindly look critically at just one issue that besets us in this country and devote the rest of your life to tackling it. What I have seen since you left office is a seeming confusion as to what role you should play going forward. You have oscillated between an international speaker and a peace ambassador while also showing a deft move to withstand pressure to recontest. Let me say something about this pressure, that is the kind of pressure we call ‘’yeye pressure’’ in Shomolu. That is the kind of pressure when you are about to fight a big hoodlum and he draws a line in the sand and dares you to cross it. Your supporters will now be pushing you to cross the line knowing full well that it would be suicidal if your toe makes the mistake of touching the line talk less of your full body crossing it. You yourself know that you will not dare cross the line but your supporters will be singing your praises and egging you on; pushing you towards the line to your seeming death. That is the kind of pressure, these your supporters are putting on you. My Lord no give in o, no even try am o because if you do, that would be like dancing naked with honey rubbed all over your scrotum in a forest filled with soldier ants. You can imagine what would happen to you in the circumstances. Well, after careful thought and deep reflection, I may have found a course that would suit your demeanour and qualifications. I have found a project that would throw you back into the good books of Nigerians and give you deserved and much-sought after international recognition and give you the fulfilment your years in the Presidency did not give you. I think you should be appointed the Commissioner of Education in Kaduna. Yes, as a former university lecturer you will be in a better position to work with El-Rufai as he attempts to reform that sector filling over 20,000 vacancies and putting strong structures that will ensure better foundations for our people. This would be beyond party lines because as a statesman, you are expected to fly above such narrow prisms. Please think about this offer very deeply and let me know if you would be open to it, so I can discuss with Mallam over the weekend and see how we can make this a possibility. Oya ball is in your court, let us know your thoughts urgently. Happy birthday sir, don’t mind me, I can be like this at times.