Miscellaneous

THIS particular conspectus of errors is just to whet your appetite ahead of syntactic surgeries (a la Prof.Adidi Uyo of Unilag) next month! Most of the mistakes in the print and electronic media are the manifestations of carelessness, loose thinking and ignorance. We must be consistent in the use of either British orAmerican English—mixing up both variants in any lexical environment shows slipshoddiness.

Also note that most media audiences are sticklers for purism. For those in this finicky and fastidious class, any egregious slip counts. Unfortunately, most people who commit these facile and schoolboy blunders are persons who should know but because incorrigibility has affected them they have become ignoramuses! Why, for instance, should some journalists describe themselves as ‘media practitioners’ instead of ‘media professionals’? Doctors and lawyers practise medicine and law, respectively, clearly unlike the fourth estate.

I am not a linguistic diagnostician, but I can perform lexical and structural surgeries and make efficacious pharmacological/therapeutic recommendations based on knowledgeable familiarity with infelicities (and some of their typologies) that border on grammar, logic and rhetoric, which I had referred to elsewhere in this column as the pillars of the English language—get them right and you are on course.

Finally, I am more concerned here with the practical aspect of the English language than its critical theoretical underpinnings which are available in all standard textbooks and easily accessible. This work is a stop-gap exercise for quick resolutions of daily grammatical challenges. From my own personal experiences and encounters with people, most exonormative language users prefer easy-toread-and-follow summaries to usually massive, boring and complex theoretical prescriptions! This is hoping that I am not inadvertently encouraging intellectual slothfulness by this remedial quick-fix intervention! For starters, let’s proceed with the following tips of the iceberg:

“This is an affront on (to) our collective psyche.” ( Facebook post, November 23)

News around the city: “Harvests of death (deaths) inAdamawa” ‘Death’ is both uncount- able and countable. In this context of ‘harvest’, it cannot be non-count.

The extracts on the left are wrong entries and corrected right: Pool resources together Majority of us us Media practitioner sional Counsels Counsel Opportuned Opportune/Opportunity Offsprings Offspring Invest on somethingInvest in something At a/the crossroad At a/the crossroads

In the continent On the continent Junks Junk Conspicuously absent Absent Secret ballot Ballot Test run (noun) (as verb) Test Don’t pull my legs Don’t pull my leg The faithfuls The faithful Strike action Strike Congratulations for Congratulations on/upon Potentials Potential/Potentialities Log of wood Log Cutleries Cutlery Stationeries Stationery Beddings Bedding Loots Loot Luxurious bus Luxury bus Repeat again Repeat Vigilante group Vigilance group Creditably well Creditably Overaged player Overage player An hotel Ahotel Point accusing finger Point the finger Under the platform On the platform Marching order Marching orders Obituary announcement Obituary Handwriting on the wall Writing on the wall In Lagos Island On Lagos Island In the premises On the premises At the shores On the shores Matured man Mature man Double standards Double standard With regards to With regard to At the campus On the campus All manners of All manner of Pomp and pageantry Pomp and ceremony/circumstance or just pomp More grease to your elbow More power to Pool resources A/the majority of

Media profes- your elbow Harassments Harassment Heavy downpour Downpour Rest in perfect peace Rest in peace Government white paper White paper Vandalisation Vandalism On the saddle In the saddle Deploy to Deploy in Arrest over Arrest for Commend over Commend for/on Restore in Restore to Restore back Restore Converge in/at Converge on At the outskirts On the outskirts Return back Return Reverse back Reverse Unemployment problem Unemployment Insecurity crisis Security crisis/ insecurity Luggages Luggage Birds of the same feather Birds of a feather Afeather to his cap Afeather in his cap RiotAct The RiotAct Aslip of tongue Aslip of the tongue Hide and seek gameHide and seek White elephant projects White elephants Banters Banter Night vigil Vigil Wake-keep(ing) Wake Alert on something Alert to something All nooks and crannies Every nook and cranny Aliving witness Awitness Oil bloc Oil block Eye-service Lip-service Fail woefully Fail abysmally Running stomach Runny stomach Outrightly Outright Talkless of Much less/let alone Yesteryears Yesteryear Heydays Heyday Grouse against/with someone about someone Free-for-all fight Discuss about something Discuss something Equipments Evidences Protest over Last respect Raise an eyebrow The poor masses Alright Grouse Free for all

Equipment Evidence Protest about/against/at Last respects Raise eyebrows The masses All right