LEGAL HUMOUR

A Physician, an Engineer, and an Attorney were discussing who among them belonged to the oldest of the three professions represented. The Physician said, "Remember, on the sixth day God took a rib from Adam and fashioned Eve, making him the first surgeon. Therefore, medicine is the oldest profession."

The Engineer replied, "But, before that, God created the heavens and earth from chaos and confusion, and thus he was the first engineer. Therefore, engineering is an older profession than medicine." Then, the Lawyer spoke up. "Yes," he said, "But who do you think created all of the chaos and confusion?"

An elderly patient needs a heart transplant and discusses his options with his doctor. The doctor says, ‘We have three possible donors. One is a young, healthy athlete.

The second is a middle aged businessman who never drank or smoked, and the third is an Attorney who just died after practicing law for 30 years.’ ‘I’ll take the Lawyer’s heart,’ says the patient.

‘Why?’ asks the doctor. The patient replies, ‘It’s never been used.’ Q: Why are lawyers never attacked by sharks? A: Professional courtesy. A Lawyer and the Pope died at the same time, both went to heaven. They were met at the Pearly Gate by St. Peter who conducted them to their rooms.

The Pope's room was spartan with bare floor, army cot for a bed, and a single bulb for light. They came to the Lawyer's room. It was huge with wall to wall carpeting, king sized water bed, indirect lighting, colour TV, stereo, Jacuzzi and fully stocked bar. The Lawyer said, "There must be a mistake. This must be the Pope's room!"

St Peter said, "There's no mistake. This is your room. We have lots of Pope's, but you're our very first Lawyer!"