LOUD WHISPERS
Festus Keyamo – This is not a Joke
I heard Mr. Keyamo on the radio the other day. He was having a discussion with Uncle Jimi Disu on the latter’s talk show. You see, the only problem with Uncle Disu is that, ‘the man no dey let the guests talk sef. Na him go ask question and na him go answer everything. The issues raised were quite seminal and Mr. Keyamo was ready to justify his ‘SANSHIP’ but as usual, Uncle Disu didn’t allow him talk with all his usual unnecessary interruptions. So as not to frustrate myself that beautiful warm Sunday afternoon, I immediately placed a call to the great legal luminary but he did not pick it. I am sure he was thinking I wanted to ask him to buy me lunch. Luckily for him, he called back much later and I made the request of spending a whole day with him, watch him closely and have enough time to discuss and interact with him on several issues especially his strong love for Buhari amongst others. He liked the idea and agreed, subject to his schedule. For me, this would afford me a wonderful opportunity to really tap from his brain and unlike Uncle Disu, I will allow him do most of the talking. So my brother, this is not a joke, let’s do this.
Femi Gbajabiamila – I Strongly Support
As a third force and one who is never shy of taking a position, I want to state here categorically that I stand firmly in this camp. I hear that this gentleman is seeking re-election for the umpteenth time into the House of Representatives where he is the Majority Leader. I am basing my position on two strong counts – his strong intellectual inputs and contributions to the debates on the floor and much more important, his contributions to his immediate constituency. You see, I do not live in Surulere. Being a frequent visitor to the place, as you drive around you see this Oga’s inputs all over the place, from the school buses to the community development initiatives including sports, infrastructure and the like. You can be forgiven if you thought he was the chairman of the local government. I know it is usually not easy for legislators to impact the community that gives them the platform despite the huge allocations given to them for community projects, which has led to so many scandals. In this case, the reverse is the case. From our assessment and through discussions with residents, Mr. Gbajiamila is doing well, hence our support. Keep it up my lord. But can I just ask one small question, why not try Senate? Abi you dey fear?
Squash With Albert Okumagba
If you know me very well, you will also know that this gentleman is my lord of lords. My real mentor and my Oga for life. I heard that he was a little bit upset with me and ever since I have been looking for an opportunity to go lay at his feet for forgiveness. So the opportunity came on Saturday when after a meeting with my alumni lords I heard that Mr. Okumagba was playing squash at the courts just near the meeting venue. Let me even say one line as to what I was doing at the Command’s mess that day. You all know that I had withdrawn from the elections for President of the alumni’s association of my great school, Command Secondary School Lagos and the election was won by the delectable Taiwo Ajisefini. So as a statesman and leader, I was called in by the Board of Trustees to seek my support for the new administration. After a bottle of Coke, would I say no? Of course, I accepted to work with the new administration in whatever capacity they deemed fit and walked away straight into the courts to pay homage to my lord. He was on the courts playing squash royally with his legendary tummy protruding, making me wonder how he was able to move so swiftly with that big belle. Well, after the game, he promptly ordered pounded yam and vegetable soup. Only Albert will play squash and eat that kind of heavy meal immediately after. We sat to discuss issues afterward, he was still his visionary self with energy. I really do respect this great man for his incurable optimism if for nothing else. For him it is not over until it is over. I really do wish him all the luck in the world as he contemplates rebuilding his empire – he will need it. We can only pray for him. He is a good man.
Threesome – The play
It was Azuka Ogujiuba, that influential media diva, that called me to come and see what we used to call ‘’American wonder’. It was a play written and directed by a Nigerian Canadian returnee, Jude Idada. My people, I saw a naked woman live on stage o. My mouth was open from the beginning to the end. The play broke all sexual boundaries and how this Jude boy got these actresses to agree to play this risqué roles beats me. The script was deep and the acting was powerful with newcomer, Daniel Effiong playing Dayo the lead role giving a good account of himself. For me, the play ended when the young girl strutted on stage with only body paint and nothing left to the imagination. I just stood there in shock and did not hear anything again for the next one hour that the play continued. I could not comprehend anything and my mind refused to leave that image long after she had left the stage. As I am writing, the thing is still disturbing me and I cannot wait for Sunday to go for deliverance. I have already called my pastor to get some candles ready. He will need to work hard this time around; these children have messed up my mind. It was a wonderful play though and I recommend it for only very emotionally secure adults, that is all I will say. Thank you.