THE 6 O’CLOCK LADY Sonnie Ekwowusi

Childhood is the most critical stage in the upbringing of a baby, writes

We believe that much more needs to be done nowadays to protect children and babies from abuses and exploitations. But ironically our children and babies are increasingly becoming the most victims of rape, infanticide, child labour, modern baby slavery and surrogate-mother baby keeping. You may have observed that in the last few years in Nigeria little kids who are not of pre-kindergarten age, that is, little babies who ought to be at home sucking their mothers’ breasts are being forced to go to school by their parents. Every morning unwilling kids below the age of two are being dragged to school by their parents or guardians. They will put something that looks like a school uniform on the kids; hang a big bag containing biscuits, bottled water and sweets on the shoulders of the kids and start dragging them to school.

The most nauseating aspect is the taking of babies below the age of two weeks, three weeks or one month to crèches, pre-kindergarten institutions or to surrogate mother safe-keepers as if they were disposable things or commodities. Permit me to tell you a true story. In a highbrow neigbourhood of Ikoyi, Lagos lives a certain lady of an upper-class background (name withheld). Nine months after she was happily married to her former fiancée she became pregnant. Later she was successfully delivered of a beautiful baby girl. After the baby turned just two weeks, the lady confided in her husband that she was tired of nursing the baby and that the time she spends nursing the baby was encroaching into her siesta and weight-loss exercises in the gym in the afternoon. Consequently, by mutual agreement, this lady and her husband decided to hand over their baby to the proprietress of a nearby crèche for nursing and safe-keeping. On her part, the lady drew up a baby-delivery and baby-collection daily schedule. She would get up early in morning, quickly rinse up her face with water, pack up her baby, put her in her car and drive her straight to the crèche. On her way back from the gym she would dutifully drive straight to the crèche to pick up her baby at 6p.m. In fact her punctuality at the crèche in the evening to collect her baby earned her the sobriquet The 6 o’ Clock Lady both at the crèche and in the neigbourhood. Whenever the sound of her car was heard in the neigbourhood all the residents would conclude that the 6 o’ clock lady had arrived to pick up her baby.

This lady kept on doing this for about three years. But one day she arrived at the crèche at 6 o’clock in the evening as usual to pick up her baby. At that time her baby was already three years old. After she arrived she went into the crèche as usual and carried her baby to go home. But something strange happened that day. The baby started kicking and crying to register her protest that she did not want to go home with the 6 o’ clock lady. Obviously the baby had become so emotionally and physically attached to the proprietress of the crèche that she regarded the lady as a stranger trying to take her away. The proprietress of the crèche had been closely nursing her for three consecutive years that she had perfectly bonded with her and regarded her as real mum. Anyway, the lady still managed to take the weeping baby home. But the drama did

THE VALUES WHICH MOTHERS INCULCATE IN A CHILD EVENTUALLY BECOME THE FOUNDATION UPON WHICH THE CHILD BUILDS THE SUPERSTRUCTURE OF HIS/HER BEHAVIOUR

not end there. On getting home, the baby continued wailing unstoppably to high heavens. She refused to eat the food offered to her by mum. She refused to allow the 6 o’ clock lady to wash her and dress her up.The lady could not even lull the baby to sleep. Disturbed by the persistent wailing and restlessness of the baby, the 6 o’ clock Lady telephoned the proprietress of the crèche and registered her complaint about the strange behaviour of her baby. Time was 12.30 p.m in the night. Suspecting what must have transpired between the baby and the lady, the proprietress left her house that night and headed for the house of The 6 o’ clock lady. As soon as she arrived at the lady’s house and set her eyes on the baby, the baby instantly stopped crying. She had seen the proprietress and recognised her as her ‘real’ mother. After the baby had stopped crying, the proprietress carried her and lifted her up. The baby smiled. The proprietress touched her head and sang to her the song she was used to at the crèche. When the baby heard the crèche song, she smiled all the more. Thereafter the proprietress, who still carrying the baby in her arms, requested that water and food be given to the baby. The 6 o’ clock lady brought water and food and gave to the baby. The baby ate and drank to her satisfaction. Thereafter the baby fell asleep in the arms of the proprietress.

This story, as I earlier said, is a true story. The person scribbling this vouches for its authenticity and accuracy. Outsourcing of parenting to househelps, surrogate mothers or crèches is the new fad. Advocates of outsourcing of parenting argue that times have changed; that a woman must not die bringing up a baby; that most married women nowadays are working mothers and therefore should be relieved from the additional burden of raising up children. This argument is flawed upon recognising that early babyhood or childhood is the most critical stage in the upbringing of a baby or a child. The values which mothers inculcate in a child eventually become the foundation upon which the child builds the superstructure of his/her behaviour. To be sure, a destroyed babyhood or childhood engenders a dysfunctional family which by extension engenders a destroyed nation. For instance, the crises associated with the Amajiris of Northern Nigeria stem from the crisis of childhood. It is said that music legend Michael Jackson never had a childhood and that depravity led to his final ruin. For most societies, the preschool or pre-kindergarten age ranges between two and half years to four and half years. The first National Policy on Education was introduced in Nigeria in 1977 during the military era. In that policy and subsequent national policies, the preschool age ranges from three years to six years. The policies have regulated and standardised early childhood education in Nigeria. But as you know very well, the Nigerian educational system has collapsed. Consequently the preschools, kindergarten institutions and crèches are riddled by crises. There is proliferation of kindergarten school in virtually every gutter and dungeon in Nigeria. Quality education has been compromised. Arbitrary fees are charged. Some crèches are now accepting babies as young as two weeks for safe-keeping. May God help us.