DONALD DUKE My Love Story with Onari
Marriage is a fusion and that can take one year depending on your mental state and compatibility
Love is a strong feeling of affection. If that is the case, why do some people who claim to love each other end up killing one another? There are several cases of wives killing husbands and husbands killing wives in bizarre circumstances. Where then is the love? The former Governor of Cross River State, Donald Duke provides an answer. Giving a vivid insight into his love story with his wife, Onari, Duke attributes their success story to their development of a right mental attitude; submitting that there is a clear difference between wedding and marriage proper.
“My wife and I have been married for 32 years which is three decades. We got married in 1986. Staying married and staying friends in a marriage is a mental attitude. First of all, I like to separate the difference between wedding and marriage. So, we got wedded 32 years ago, but marriage is a fusion and that can take one year depending on your mental state and compatibility. You can even be married before you wed. Some people stay for a whole lifetime and they are not really wedded. A marriage is a fusion of minds and going forward, you two have to start thinking or reasoning together.”
He says that for any marriage to work, a partner has to anticipate what the other person is going to do at any point in time during courtship and must be immensely compatible. “By the time you are fully married, the thought of a divorce cannot occur to you. So, we have been wedded for 32 years. I want to believe we are married, fused, because I cannot contemplate being without her and I want to believe she feels the same way too and when you get to that stage, that is when you understand the concept of love, the infinite ability to forgive.”
Throwing more light on the concept of selfless love, Duke points out the strength of forgiveness in a relationship and also of embracing your partner as yourself in line with the biblical treatise to “love your neighbour as yourself.”
Going down memory lane to recreate the scenario of how he first met his wife 32 years ago, Duke said: “The first attraction that drew me to my wife was her attractiveness. I met her when she was at the age of between 17 and 18 during my university days. At that time, I was running for election for the position of Social Secretary in Ahmadu Bello University, and I was with a friend of mine, Col. Amadu (Rtd) and she was walking across the car park trying to register as a fresher in the University.