Ocheze, the Sweet Mother Goes Home
Mrs. Priscilla Chinwoke Obikili (nee Obiefuna) peacefully returned to her Maker on May 23 2018 aged 86. Ocheze, as she was affectionately called, was truly the words of the late high-life music maestro Prince Nico Mbarga the sweet mother. Growing up, my Mum was the pillar of our home. Home is home. My Mum made our home what is was. She never shirked her motherly responsibilities. Downright simple, moderate, unassuming and urbane, Ocheze perceived motherhood as a precious gift which should be celebrated and rewarded because humanity owes its survival to that gift. Her love for her husband was legendary, she loved him with his defects. She was very grateful to God for the virtues that he found in her husband such as fortitude, foresightedness, and forthrightness. Her ability in combining whatever she was and house-keeping found the most exalted synthesis in her love for her children.
Ocheze was distinguished for greatly caring for her children. This, for me, is what matters in this life. A fulfilled mother is one that spent her life loving and bringing up her children responsibly. Ocheze spent the greater part of her life loving us her children as well as bringing joy to us her children. She imparted in us the essential family values which today are the superstructures which determine the way in which we relate with others in the society.
Apart from caring for us her children, Ocheze cared for other children, her neighbours and all the people around. This large-heartedness earned her different sobriquets such as “mama Jos’, ‘mama Yaba’,’ mama Lagos’, ‘mama Adazi’, ‘mama US’ and so forth. Her home in Jos and Lagos was a home for all. She made her home so homey that relations, friends, etc. felt at home there. Her simplicity, sincerity and cheerfulness made it easy for children, grandchildren, great grandchildren, etc, to flock to her side. On seeing many children flocking to her side, she would pray for them, caressed them, cradled them, and even cried for them. She was particularly happy whenever a new baby was born. At her Golden Jubilee Anniversary on 13 August 2000, Ocheze received many gifts but the most precious of them was a gift of a grandson who was born on that day. At her 66th wedding anniversary on 13 August 2016, Ocheze received a most cherished gift-one of her granddaughter’s wedded on that day.
Perhaps Ocheze will be remembered for her strong Christian faith and unpretentious Christian piety. She was simply a virtuous woman. She was a devoted parishioner at St Theresa Catholic Church Jos, St Dominic Catholic Church Yaba, Lagos, St Andrews Catholic Church Adazi-Nnukwu, and finally at St Joseph the Worker Catholic Church Adazi-Nnukwu. She was particularly happy when St Joseph the Worker Catholic Church was established at a place where she used to plant pepper and a few other crops during the Nigeria civil war. She was happy that she could trek to the Church for daily Mass or for visit to the Blessed Sacrament. She was a bosom friend of Mrs Ezembaji, the Catechist of the Church. She belonged to several societies in the Church: Sacred Heart of Jesus, St Anthony of Padua, etc. and she made a pilgrimage to Jerusalem, Rome, Fatima, etc. in 1982.
She prayed a lot and was good at not only vocal prayers but also mental prayers. When she was healthy, virtually everyone morning, she and husband would pray vocal and mental prayers and thereafter go for Morning Mass. She would stay some minutes after Mass to say the Catena to Our Lady and to exchange pleasantries with fellow parishioners. In January this year, she had a Thanksgiving Mass for the blessings the Good Lord had showered upon her and her family.
Initially her children tried to convince her to shift the Thanksgiving for the following year because some of her children were out of town and they needed to prepare for it and do it in a well deserving way. When she insisted, the Thanksgiving Mass went ahead albeit on a moderate scale. She told his children that she did not know that her eyes would see the year 2018. She was very happy when she was able to attend Mass on Easter Sunday.
Most importantly, Ocheze was a peacemaker. She brokered between many warring persons and factions. Perhaps what gave more impetus to her peace-making drives was her devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. Through this devotion, the Good Lord used Ocheze to resolve many problems, and to bring peace to many hearts, many homes, many hamlet and so forth. When her late brother-in-law had a misunderstanding with her husband, she reassured her brother in-law that with the help of her children the issue would be resolved.
Indeed the matter was resolved amicably. It is therefore not surprising that many of the titles that were bestowed on her were associated with peace of mind and body. Shortly before she died, she asked for her rosary and held it in her hands and made the signs of the cross feebly a couple of times. Two of her children took turns to feed her last supper; the nurse gave her medicine and she slept. In the early hours of 23rd May, her condition deteriorated.
After her physician had reviewed her, he sent an sms to the chaplain of the hospital. The chaplain gave her the Anointing of the Sick at 8.15 am and she died at 8:30am. Her last son who as a child had told her that he would accompany her at her last moments on earth closed her eyes.
Born on 20 April 1932 to Pa Richard and Madam Virginia Obiefuna of Okpu Ifite village, Agulu, Anaocha LGA, Anambra State, Ocheze was the first surviving child of her parents. She started her primary education at Loreto Convent School, Adazi-Nnukwu, which was run by reverend sisters, but was not able to complete it for financial reasons. In August 1950 she got married to Chief Simeon Obikili at St Theresa’s Catholic Church Jos. The late Chief Julius Ezimorah (Papa Bukuru), who initiated her husband into business, was the Chairman of her wedding and the marriage was blessed with 9 children: 6 boys and 3 girls.