Fail Abysmally, Not Woefully

“NEMA identifies Zik, Ekwueme, Obiano’s LGs as high risk (high-risk) areas” (DAILY Sun Front Page Rider, July 23) And this: Obiano LGs “Russia: FG to crackdown (crack down) on travel agents over stranded Nigerians” (Source: as above) “Expect mother of all wars, if…Iran (Iranian) leader warns Trump” Get it right: father of all wars

“Government said the repatriated Abacha loot will (would) be shared using….” (DAILY Sun Editorial, July 23)

“Government Girls (Girls’) Secondary School, Rumuokwuta”

“President, Nigerian (Nigeria) Union of Journalists” (Statement by the NPO)

“APC government has failed totally, woefully (abysmally)—Falae” (NATIONAL NEWS, July 23) ‘Totally’ and ‘abysmally’— which is the right word and not ‘woefully’ cannot co-function.

“…was Governor and Chairman of the Board of Central Bank of Nigeria between September 24, 1975-June 28, 1977) (Full-page obituary signed by the Management of Central Bank of Nigeria) Between …and or from…to (--)

DAILY Sun Editorial of July 30 circulated the following misapprehension: “The CBN boss also said that (what is this for?) the committee considered the tightening of interest with the belief that such measure (such a measure) would curtail the threat of a rise in inflation. “

“Mugabe breaks silence, lashes Mnangagwa on eve of presidential

I received two meaningful calls and a mail with regard to last week’s entry which declared that there was no such word as “invitee”. Both callers—one of them an unnamed purist—insisted that the word existed. Another contributor, who craved anonymity, said in his definitive mail (below) that the word is listed in an undated dictionary and thesaurus.

“I just read your column, where you said there was ‘no word known as invitees’. On the contrary, there is. A dictionary definition has ‘invitee’ as ‘a visitor to whom hospitality is extended.’ A thesaurus has ‘invitee’ as a synonym for guest.”

Let me reiterate that the focus of this column is formal (modern) British Standard English usage—not traditional or regionalized English, which is usually dialectical with a dose of applicative circumscription!

“Invitee” is a piece of Americanism that has invaded Nigeria by way of language imperialism. Persistent abuse of a word or phrase does not confer acceptability or correctness on it. Sticklers must cleanse themselves of the juvenile indoctrination that everything in the dictionary is correct. This columnist, without being immodest, has developed the capacity and competency to justifiably question literary status quo and conventions.

This columnist is not interested in colloquial and informal (non-standard) entries, which may exist in ‘Abrahamic’ (ancient) registers, dictionaries and thesauruses! Personally, language currency is the sustainable path to toe—not faddishness, lexical conservatism, conventional wisdom and normative reliance. I have dictionaries, thesauri, English language textbooks and other general interest books which contain grammatical and factual blunders! For me, these publications are guides which are not inviolable. Even the Bible, thesaurus and Shakespearean materials, as authoritative as they are, still contain lexical, structural and informational contradictions, if not fallacies. The edition of references is also critical because what is right today may be wrong tomorrow, depending on human strides, dynamism and universal language development.

Our familiarization with dated words or expressions in vogue in our locales should not mislead us into believing that they are sacrosanct and immutable. I welcome more constructive reactions to this and other issues raised here. My position on “invitee” still stands. According to D. W. Williams, past experience (sic) should be a guide post, not a hitching post.

Back to our usual business: “The Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) is currently in a dilemma over the inability of five of the eight banks that failed the stress test in the industry in 2009 to get suitable partners.” By every shred, “is” indicates currency. So, I do not understand this ubiquity in Nigerian newspapers: “is currently”. A rewrite: The CBN is in a dilemma….

“My most embarrasing day” (SUNDAY PUNCH Beauty Corner, July 29) Spell-check: embarrassing, but harassing

“Exploitation of the underaged” (Sunday Tribune, July 29) Get it right: underage.

“First Bank Nigeria PLC’s result for the period is an attestation of the trend” (Source: as above) Money: attestation to (not of) the trend.

“…there is no doubt that she will be able to steer the ship of the bank without any doubt, writes....” (THISDAY SUNDAY BUSINESS PEOPLE, July 29) Why the overkill of ‘doubt’?

“His Excellency...wishes to seize this opportunity….” Straight to the point: the governor uses or takes this opportunity. ‘Wishes’ and ‘seizes’ are pedestrian and obsolete in the circumstance. ‘Seize’ means, essentially, ‘to take by force’, et al (vide Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary, 9th Edition, and The New Lexicon Webster’s Dictionary of English Language). This could not have been the