IN APPRECIATION OF OUR WIVES
Ienjoy so much discussing with my wife on every matter of life. I sometimes discuss with reservations when her female emotions try to undo her reasoning. Sometimes, we recall the past and review our shortcomings to each other. But I must confess that she often accuses me of “keeping off” even when she wants my attention. That only happens when I need solitude or when composing any write-up, be it poetry or prosaic compositions.
When we talk about our past, we connect it with our present and project it to the future. In such times, I do think that doing so will guarantee against anything called separation. Doing that has made me conclude that nothing, God’s willing, will make me divorce my wife. To me, it should be a taboo for any man to divorce the wife on mere accounts of human shortcomings. In my hometown, it is a general belief that any home where no quarrel is heard between the husband and wife, then the forbearance from the wife is great. It can occasionally be otherwise.
Wives are precious entities and gifts from God to man. I must advice my male folks to be thankful to God for having a wife, especially a faithful one. There are women around every corner of every place. There are young girls scattered across. But it is hard to get a wife from this multitude. That is why most young men prefer to go to their villages to take a wife after cruising round the towns and observing the loose or sophisticated life of the young females and ladies. That is why it is often said that husbands are difficult to get. I do not totally accept this notion. Rather, I believe that it is also the case that wives are scarce. I should be understood that my reference to wives is the good ones who make homes, not those who come into a man’s home and destroy. Not all wives are mothers and vice versa. But both are precious, indeed.
It is an accepted assertion that behind every successful man, there is a woman. The woman here preferably refers to a wife. Proof on this is that hardly can a woman feel satisfied to push a man to success, a man who is not or ready to be her husband. What is it that gives marriageable women pride and joy than belonging to a powerful and successful man – to be identified and called Mrs. This or That? If any case otherwise is recorded – that is for a woman to push a man to success without expecting any favour – it must be quite exceptional. But generally, it is wives that push their husbands to success. In most cases, it is a wife that makes a man. On the other hand, it is women that mar a man; many men had experienced the cruelest lives because of women. In the simplest term, the downfall of great men is, most times, linked to women.
From the divine angle, the position of the woman is high. God, who created man first, has a purpose for creating the female counterpart. How would have life been with all men without women or vice versa! There would have surely been chaos, as such habits are recently being introduced into some societies. In divine texts, God created woman to be a wife in whom the husband should dwell. This is a marvelous expression and ordination. “That he may dwell in or by her”. The successful man, thus, finds tranquility, love, support, confidence and even divinity in his wife. That is why in some orthodox beliefs, the position of a wife-mother is three times higher than that of the husband-father. In the Islamic belief, for instance, it is said that the admittance of any person into Paradise is subject to the approval of the mother. And everyman is born of a mother. If men do find these to be true, what then can make them divorce their wives? They should rather take them full life-partners, for good and for worse.
However, every man has a special characteristic upon which the choice of a girl or lady for a wife is based. It is also applicable to the female in accepting the man as a husband. It can be religion; that is to say that the girl looks sacred or proves religiosity. It can be beauty. It can be wealth. It can even be parental background which may include good character, intelligence and other life fulfilments. That should be the mirror or the flashpoint for the two knitted lovers whenever the human weaknesses arise. It should never be divorce.
A wife is a great homemaker. She is a mother to the husband even before the child. She is the warmth of a home. She is the nation.