LEGAL HUMOUR

Q: What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer? A: One is a bottom-dwelling, garbage-eating scavenger. The other is a fish.

Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A: A vampire only sucks blood at night

Following a distinguished legal career, a man arrived at the Gates of Heaven, accompanied by the Pope, who had the misfortune to expire on the same day.

The Pope was greeted first by St. Peter, who escorted him to his quarters. The room was somewhat shabby and small, similar to that found in a cheap B&B.

The Lawyer was then taken to his room, which was a palatial suite including a private swimming pool, a garden, and a terrace overlooking the Gates.

The Lawyer was somewhat taken a back, and told St. Peter, “I’m really quite surprised at these rooms, seeing as how the Pope was given such small accommodation.” St. Peter replied, “We have over a hundred Popes here, and we’re really very bored with them. We’ve never had a Lawyer.”

Q: What do you call 400 lawyers at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean?

A: A great place to start.

I showed the damaged remains of my luggage to my Lawyer and said “I want to sue the airline”

“You haven’t got much of a case”, he replied

Rodney sat in his Attorney’s office. “Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?” the Lawyer asked. “Give me the bad news first,” said Rodney.

“Your wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars,” said the Lawyer. “That’s the bad news?” asked Rodney incredulously. “I can’t wait to hear the terrible news.” “It’s of you and your mistress,” replied the Lawyer.