LEGAL HUMOUR

When asked, "What is a contingent fee?" a Lawyer answered, "A contingent fee to a Lawyer means, if I don't win your suit, I get nothing. If I do win it, you get nothing."

A group of terrorists hijacked a plane full of Lawyers. They called down to ground control with their list of demands, and added that if their demands weren't met, they would release one Lawyer every hour.

A small town that cannot support one Lawyer, can always support two.

Arguing with a Lawyer is like mud wrestling with a pig: after a while, you realise that the pig actually enjoys it.

Warning Signs that you Might Need a Different Lawyer

He tells you that his last good case was a Budweiser.

When the Prosecutors see who your Lawyer is, they high-five each other.

He picks the jury by playing "duck-duckgoose”. He tells you that he has never told a lie. A big sign in his office says: "Don't ask me”. A prison guard is shaving your head.

How Lawyers do it... Lawyers do it with appeal. Lawyers do it confidentially. Lawyers do it on a trial basis. Lawyers do it until justice prevails. Lawyers do it as long as you can pay them. Lawyers do it unless it is prohibited by law.

You Might be a Lawyer if... these jokes.

a short one.

named Bill.

whether it's verbal or written. examine her.