LEGAL HUMOUR

NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent on a mission to Mars. Only one could go, and they wouldn't return to Earth.

The first applicant, an Engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going. "A million dollars", he answered, "because I want to donate it to M.I.T".

The next applicant, a Doctor, was asked the same question. He asked for $2 million. "I want to give a million to my family", he explained, "and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research".

The last applicant was a Lawyer, and when he was asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer’s ear, "Three million dollars".

The interviewer asked, "Why so much more than the others?" The Lawyer replied, "If you give me $3 million, I’ll give you $1 million, I’ll keep $1 million, and we’ll send the Engineer to Mars".

What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pit bull? Lipstick.

What do you call a Lawyer with an IQ of 100? Your Honour.

What do you call a Lawyer with an IQ of 50? Senator.

What's the difference between an Accountant and a Lawyer? Accountants know they're boring

A young Lawyer died and went to heaven (unbelievable we know!).

When he got to there, the Lawyer started protesting that it was way too early for him to die.

He was only 32 years old, and there must be some mistake. The Angel listened to his protests, and agreed that perhaps it was a mistake and went away to look into it.

After a few minutes the Angel came back and said, "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid there is no mistake. We calculated your age by how many hours you billed your clients, and you are at least 96".