LEGAL HUMOUR

What do dinosaurs and decent Lawyers have in common? They're both extinct.

A local United Way office realised one day that, the organisation had never received a single donation from the town's most successful lawyer.

So, the person in charge of contributions called the Lawyer to persuade him to contribute.

"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you did not give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"

The Lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"

Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um ... no."

TheLawyerinterrupts,"Orthatmybrother,adisabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"

The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again.

"Or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the Lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?"

The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "Sorry... I had no idea..."

On a roll, the Lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"

What do you call 25 Attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.

I wanted to sue the airline, because they damaged my luggage.

So, I showed the badly damaged remains to my Lawyer. He said, "You don't have much of a case".

What do you call 25 skydiving Lawyers? Skeet

What do you call a Lawyer gone bad? Senator.