CHIEF EMEKA ANYAOKU: LONG TIME NO SEE
Mbok, writer’s block is doing me more than ever before o. I do not know if it is out of old age, lack of sex or just plain tiredness that is doing me. Before, I could write this column of about 4,000 words in a matter of minutes, now na struggle. I will just be looking at my laptop, thinking about school fees, about how the next Hotel EFCC will ‘attack’. You know that thing is not funny especially for those of us who are still in the game. Imagine being jacked up in a hotel where you went to conduct some very serious discussions on global warming just because EFCC had done ‘tumbo tumbo’ and picked that same hotel to raid. What will you tell your family and admirers after your picture is all over the media as a yahoo yahoo? That one, you will be begging to accept the lesser evil which is: “I am not a yahoo yahoo o, it is my secretary o or it is my landlord’s daughter I brought here o.” Mbok, don’t make me laugh. That was how it suddenly dawned on me that I have not heard from my father, the Honourable Chief Emeka Anyaoku since the lockdown. How terrible of me! A man who gave me tea in his house. A man who introduced me to his lovely wife and who calls me ‘The Duke’ with a fine aristocratic accent, not like how my other brother, Yinka Shonekan will shout Dukeee.
So, I reached out and oga came on Whatsapp. “Duke, I am in a low-key cos of this pandemic and I am sorry I cannot attend any of your shows,” he said. “My Lord, I understand, please stay safe o,” I replied.
“You know you are ‘aje butter’ not like them OBJ who are ‘paki’ and will just be running up and down and the virus sef go dey fear them.” God keep you, my lord. You are a
National Treasure.