Hilda Baci: The Making of a Racist
I didn’t know that I could have racist tendencies until this my sister started cooking a storm. At first, I didn’t really connect; you know these our youths are usually up to one thing or the other on social media. Someone had sent a post to me, showing her mother praying for her and she standing behind a glass cover to be cooking. I just looked at it and comot eye. Then the post started flooding, one ‘Calabar’ girl was trying to hit the Guinness Book of World records for the longest cooking spree. Then it caught fire. Everybody started rushing there, even Governor Sanwo-Olu came out of hiding to come and taste our food. Lagos and indeed the world became animated.
Then, the pictures of Hilda started coming out and that distracted me from the cooking. Come and see, body. Come and see shape, come and see beauty. Mbok, what is this kind of a queen doing in the kitchen, I asked myself. This is injustice, I screamed. “Common, leave the kitchen and let me employ 1,000 people to cook for you,” I screamed at the pictures. Then she beat the record and even added some more hours to it. I sent a message offering to join her massage team, as I saw people massaging her to keep her going. Of course nobody answered me but instead started engaging me on the correct spelling of her local government which I had immediately claimed. Then I released a statement – Akwa Ibom-born damsel… I had said. Immediately, a top Lagos State official engaged me – “Edgar you didn’t add in your narrative that she is Lagos-based and Lagos gave her the environment to excel, please withdraw and rewrite and put Lagos,” he said. I said, “Look at this one o. When you people were flogging us during the election you did not know. Kai, please leave us o. This is the only one we have, let us milk it well na, after all we are not sharing Bobrisky with you. Let us enjoy this one exclusively and peacefully, because we do not know when the next full-blooded Akwa Ibom hero will emerge.” No vex my sister.