Muhammadu Buhari: There Goes the Saint
For me, what I will not really miss as President Muhammadu Buhari is headed to Daura after May 29 is his tailor. That man should be tried for treason. The kind of pants he used to sew for our maximum ruler can cause political upheaval. Did you see the pants our president wore to the Naval event the other day? The thing is not only what we used to call ‘sofe’ but pushed out like something palm wine tappers of those days used to wear. Na wa. Well, by the time you read this, we will have only a day before this Baba finally goes to rest. This has been a long journey of missed opportunities. The longest ever career that, although laced with a lot of failures, kept rising to the point of hitting the top post twice. From his days as Petroleum Minister in the 70s till today as a two-term president, Nigerians have seen the worst in – make I no talk – leadership. Nigerians have a strong attachment to this Buhari, I swear and I don’t know why. Shebi it was during his time as military leader that we were queuing for ‘essential commodity’, Decree 4 and jail terms for politicians that would make Idi Amin look like an angel. Despite this, we looked at his ‘body language’ and voted for him twice. Na we get the problem, not him o. What did he do wrong? Nothing o. All he just did was to threaten us with the blood of baboon and we said, ‘Oya come take am’ and he immediately crashed the Naira, superintended the worst case of civilian bloodletting in peaceful times- we have lost more civilian lives during his tenure than during the civil war- the demystification of the judiciary, the ‘attack’ on Supreme court judges and a great increase in ethnic suspicions. My people, everything that wants to get wrong got wrong and in all these, daddy, just sat there with a toothpick while the people wailed. I am looking for all those people who walked from Lagos to Abuja to celebrate his wins. I hope kwashiorkor and scabies will be their lot right now. They had better start walking back from Abuja and straight into the Lagos lagoon because their huge lack of foresight is amazing. In a mad scramble to rewrite history, his handlers have come out with a long document chronicling his legacy. They are shouting infrastructure. Yes, to be fair, he scored some good points with infrastructure – the rail lines, the Second Niger Bridge, the Dangote refinery and other such projects that were completed in his eight years must be commended.
Even with this little glimmer, this was just one long dark tunnel. At least we should be happy that all the gra gra of vote for me oooo, the three attempts have ended and we are the worst for it. If we hadn’t given him this opportunity, Nigerians will by now be shouting – ohhh Buhari would have performed the magic, Buhari would have done this and Buhari would have done that. My people, we cannot even say a huge sigh of relief by his exit, because he now has thrown up a successor from the worst ever electoral process since democracy was founded. Where he went to pick that kind INEC Chairman needs to be studied in Harvard. Such incompetence and lack of personal pride and understanding of history, I have never seen in my life. To superintend this kind of election and boldly stand there and say, ‘go to court?’ This Buhari era? Make una leave me o. If I really write my mind, na koboko DSS go use flog me with pepper, make we just leave am. At least, the Baba no even try mention third term- third wetin? Third wetin? Kai. Please as you move towards your beloved Niger Republic, let me on behalf of millions of suffering Nigerians, wish you well. We really do thank you for services rendered to the people. Thank you, my Lord, safe journey abeg. Kai. Na wa.