A ‘TRIBE’ CALLED FUNKE AKINDELE

Ok, let’s resume the debate. At the announcement of her political ambitions over Lagos, she was quoted to have said that she had about 20 million followers on social media and that she would push them into the polling units and take over Lagos. Now at this point, the Governor of Lagos State, her main contender had less than 500,000 and a lot of misguided analysts had started singing the farewell song for Jide. I remember vividly, asking very succinctly, her strategy to convert these numbers to votes. She answered the question with her very woeful performances on the soap box. Her understanding of the issues was at best pedestrian, her delivery was strained and it was very clear that politics wasn’t for her. Her 20 million followers just stayed put and waited for her to return back to her natural habitat. She has now done that and with alacrity, destroyed all records in the space. Her new movie, ‘A Tribe Called Judah’ as at the time of writing this piece, has crossed by very far the N1 billion mark in gate takings. I am hearing that it has even hit the N2 billion mark but cannot verify as I write so — make we stick to the N1 billion mark. Funke has been able to immortalise a career that sits on “idiocy.” The slapstick routine that has been pushed by such notables like Baba Sala, Baba Suwe, Aluwe and the rest have pushed her to movie heights that we can only just imagine. It is noteworthy that on the top 10 movie table, she holds top three positions. Funke has found the formula and is milking it to the hilt. The first authentic movie billionaire? Well done my sister, well done, you have done noble. Mbok those “witches” that advised you to join politics, I hope you have burnt their bras for they didn’t mean you well at all. Congrats once again my sister, and also congrats to Nigerians for showing the world that we indeed do have a very huge and deep market, that if well propositioned, can give us the much-needed elixir to renew true hope in our nation. I am happy, very happy sef.

You people may not know the meaning of the name I always call gentleman Otedola: Scarlet Pimpernel. Even me, I don’t know the meaning. It’s just that anytime I see Mr. Otedola or hear about him, the name comes to my head. Anyways, that was how Dr. Balogun’s Lagos State Security Trust Fund organised a town hall meeting and Governor Babajide Sanwo-Olu had announced that Mr. Otedola has promised to make his own donation at a later date and that we all should hold our breath. The bomb came during the week and it was a massive bomb. It was N1 billion for the security of Lagos. This was massive as it took over the airwaves, drowning all other stories. Mr. Otedola is by far the most strategic philanthropist around. His donations make maximum impact without the fanfare of the others. He drops some very huge sums periodically without so much noise and you will now be seeing the way the funds will begin to impact the system. The LSSTF is a joint structure by the Lagos State Government and Corporate Nigeria aimed at supporting security in Lagos. Working very closely with the police, it has been able to very well support and engage it, especially in areas like equipment, welfare and strategy. Mr. Otedola’s donation, I am very well sure, will go a long way to deepen its engagement with the police and by extension, better secure Lagos. You see why I call him Scarlet Pimpernel, even though “I no know” the meaning. Thanks. week, be hanging out together and getting drunk together or be doing whatever it is they do that makes them feel high with themselves. The one that even shocks me the most is that one who was kicked out, is the one now shouting – ohhhhhhh, I will fight you for messing up the mother of my son. These things just make me laugh.