MUHAMMADU BUHARI: THE GODFATHER NEVER SLEEPS
Wike should come and learn work. The best way to influence is to stay clear. Breathing down the neck of your protégé will only irritate, annoy and eventually lead to revolt like what he is facing in Port Harcourt. Buhari is an expert godfather. The bobo knows just how to super influence without gra gra like our Wike brother, who is all over the place and losing on all fronts as it were. At the recent launching of “that” book by Mr. Femi Adesina, our president Bola Tinubu was quoted to have said that Buhari has remained on his own, not interfering and hardly talking to him. That it is even him that used to call him and say, “Oga, are you there? Are you sure you are ok? Can I send Fura or something?” The man had said he could not wait to retire and he had also said, “When I go, nobody should call my name for anything.” Well, when you carry load wey pass you, no be to run away at the slightest opportunity. The thing was overwhelming Nigeria for a man with that level of capacity. The wahala was just too much. Was it the economy or insecurity or all the abuse? Before he wakes up, Nnamdi Kanu would have abused the living daylight out of him. While he was grappling with that one, they would go and kill thousands of villagers, and as he was turning to that one, America would call, reminding him of his debts, then Asiwaju would run to Abeokuta to shout “emilokan!” Wahala everywhere with no respite. They even printed wedding invites for him and offered to marry him off. So, it is no surprise that immediately he handed over, he ran o; as in ran to Daura and didn’t even wait for Aisha for a well-deserved rest.
WALE EDUN: IT’S DANCING TIME
It was one of my ogas who sent me a clip of the Minister of Finance, Mr. Wale Edun and some top Nigerian officials dancing on stage at the ongoing World Economic Forum in Davos. I looked very well at the clip and thought maybe I saw the Vice President Kashim Shettima. But as I no sure, let me call the name of the person that I am very sure I recognised in the clip – Wale Edun. The “alakoba” who sent me the clip said, “Edgar, I know you usually have a feeling around these things, what do you think of our officials dancing on stage at such a serious event especially with the challenges that we face economically.” My people, this was how they used to push people to Golgotha. You see someone that looks like Kashim dancing on stage when Ibadan is on fire, you see Wale Edun dancing when he has not done anything about the economy; in fact the Naira suffered another round of devaluation same period, and you see how everything is going on and you now wake me up in the middle of the night to be asking me my thoughts about the dance. My brother, we all go school together. We all have access to social media, in fact opinion is now democratised, as in you can also carry your laptop and write your own thoughts and go and sleep. I have no thoughts o. Seriously, I really do not have any thoughts around it. In fact, I think I will do the same in his shoes. When you have talk, talk, talk, talk and the thing is still the same and getting worse, you will dance, na make you no go kill yourself for Nigeria matter? Abeg. So, for me, the dance was ok. In fact, we should make it a national pastime – dance. At least, if for nothing else, BP will not kill us finish before Naira reach N3,000 as has been predicted. Kai!
PROF YEMI OSINBAJO – THE BARD STRIKES AGAIN
A bard is a very powerful singer but permit me to call Prof Yemi Osinbajo, our immediate past Vice President, a bard. The man talks like he is singing. When he is speaking, I used to feel the way I feel when I am swallowing morsels of fufu wrapped in exquisitely made afang as created and delivered by Senator Florence Ita Giwa in that her heavenly restaurant. Prof Osinbajo was in his element at the launching of Mr. Adesina’s book- I don forget the name of the book. He moved from one anecdote to the other, regaling the distinguished gathering with one sweet tale of his life with Buhari after the other. The one that really got me was the one where he said, Buhari had admonished him on his way to the Niger Delta not to be the very first Vice President to be kidnapped. This got the hall into frenzied laughter. Kai. From the way our President was laughing, forgetting the carnage in Plateau and Ibadan, you will see that he has forgiven him for daring to attempt a Presidential run. Prof Osinbanjo is one of the most gifted public speakers Nigeria has ever produced. His command of the English language, versed with a strong sense of timing and a cool mien while at it, makes his deliveries always a delight to watch. I am sure in his younger days he would have been a killer with the babes. You know how they say it, cow wey no get tail, na God dey help am. As he no tall na, God give am mouth. Great guy.