FUBARA VS WIKE: A TALE OF TWO CRY BABIES
Who has been following this saga? To me, these two are just cry babies who are doing nothing but entertaining us with some Oscar-deserving performances. The very weak one who is the governor sends a wimpy message saying, ”Dare me.” Even as he is saying that one, we are “yimmuing” him because even he knows that we all know that he is sitting on that seat by the grace of the other one. A governor who cannot determine who makes up his own cabinet is what ooooo? Make una answer me. It is not to be doing ‘gorimapa’ things and sending funny warnings to people who are better coordinated and better prepared to take you out. You say you are respecting President Tinubu, that is why you are implementing an agreement that is skewed against you, and your opponents’ say you are not implementing it fast enough, and you are warning them to allow you to implement at your own pace. Are you a man? The question you should be asking yourself is, will Wike have even attended that meeting in the first place as a PDP governor? For my big brother, Nyesom, his statement that we have just seen where he reportedly said that he has no hands in the rumble of the State House of Assembly, that he was focusing on the job President Tinubu gave him, and that is why he did not “go home” for Easter is as disrespectful as they come. That is, you think that we don’t have sense abi? Must you be physically present to cause havoc? It is for this same self-serving reason that you chose this Fubara over better-qualified candidates to succeed you. The reason for his infallibility and his inexperience. My brother you “just dey bully the man” and it is not good. You just dey disgrace am up and down and if you do not stop, the position of the Governor of Rivers will become cannon fodder for comedians. No matter what the man is, he is the Executive Governor of Rivers as proclaimed by no less an institution than the Supreme Court which affirmed the mandate the people gave him. Please allow the man to drink water, elections will soon be near and then at that point, do your magic and take him out. But for now, please let him be, abeg. Thank you.
OLUKAYODE AJULO: A BABEL OF LEGAL VOICES
I thought it was a joke when he mentioned that he was going to appoint 273 lawyers. I have never met him, but we chat fairly regularly on WhatsApp. Our chats and engagements reveal that although he is extremely brilliant with a clear thought process, his approach to the practicality of politics has been quite academic and detached. As a Senior Advocate of Nigeria (SAN), the man can write long articles o. He makes it a point of duty to send them to me and I will read the first two paragraphs and tire. I will just shift and move to “xvideos” to relax my brain abeg. I cannot come out of Lagos traffic and be reading the attorney general’s postulations about things that no really concern me. But this one caught my attention. Are you really going to appoint 273 lawyers? I asked him and he said yes, and I said how are you going to pay them and he replied, “No pay.” The next day, I saw the report that he had gone ahead and given reasons citing an eight-point agenda, and the next day he was vexing with someone for issuing a statement calling him “Anthony-general.” Oga wrote another long epistle on why that shouldn’t be o. The first thing that came to my mind was, “Ondo people go hear this one o.” Dem don go appoint a lecturer for office and he has now come with 273 graduate assistants. Na big English will finish Ondo people. The big big English they will be listening to will scatter their brain and give them a headache. Kai. I pity them o. The fact that they will not be paid will add to the major cacophony of this very reckless position. They will not be focused; may use these positions to foster their personal nests, they will be distracted and ego-driven. Decisions will be cumbersome and hectic with 273 people having something to say on one issue. I tell you, even the governor go tire for this one, I swear. Governor will just be looking with amazement and asking himself, what exactly have I gotten myself into? My bro, Kay baba, abeg get serious and face the very important job you have been given. This is clowning. Thank you.
BASSIROU FAYE: WELL DESERVED GARLANDS
My only source of joy in this one is the fact that bro has two wives. This is a win for all polygamists all over the world. The young man not only won an election in an African country at that age but also strode the platform with his two wives. This is very inspiring and shuts up my critics who will be saying, “Edgar what are you doing with three wives at your age?” like there is an age restriction to polygamy. See person I senior with over 10 years, not only being President but also being with two very beautiful wives. Kai, that his first wife is extremely beautiful o. Please, anybody with access to him should let him know that I plead for a first right of refusal if he ever wants to leave her. I am here o. But seriously, if you read the travails Senegalese have to go through to achieve this epochal moment where a very young democratically-elected president has