PROPHET ODUMEJE: LONDON IN TROUBLE

‘I am the liquid metal, I have powers, I have not released some, I have “abushaker,” I come to London with only six of my powers, the rest are in CBN vaults guarding the dollar so it doesn’t run mad again. I am he, I am the one that will impregnate your mothers, I have come to London, I am Odumeje, I am the Lion, the cat and the mice, I am the Flavour, I wrote Flavour’s songs, come and give me your pounds, I am here. My favourite pastor has arrived in London, exactly one month before me. It was billed to be the battle of the madmen- The Duke and the Prophet. Me for my play ‘Awo’ and he for only God knows what, then he panicked and rushed there first. I love this man. I am crazy about him. The confidence with which he spews his bul… and the way he convinces his followers including me remains not only mysterious but amazing. A comical fixture in our national pastime, at least, he is not claiming to be eating with God in heaven or being shown his house in heaven or even drinking tea in his room with God, all he is just saying is that he has “powers.” Yes o, abi don’t you see the way he used to carry his members on his shoulders and slam them on the floor like American wrestlers, and then jump into an Ikemba dance and the music will gall him to wonderful dance steps. Prophet is my Lord, and I really hate the fact that I have missed him in London. I once met him at Ikeja Airport and rushed to hug him. He looked me straight in the eye and said “Duke, don’t touch me.” Wow! I was excited and immediately knelt to his feet and said, “Lord bless me with just one power,” and he looked up at me and said, “My son, which power do you want and I said, the power to let me go seven rounds. If he was shocked, the Prophet did not show it. He simply said, “My son, oh, there is no such wisdom in the whole of Akwa Ibom and for your humility I will not only give you Abushaker which is the power to go seven rounds but will also give you – tambolosher which is the power to do twelve maidens at the same time and for as long as you want.” Oh prophet, you are the best and I tell you London is in trouble.