Bergen 2017 from A to Z

The good news is that it never rains, but look out for polar bears! Here is our guide to the cycling fans who is coming to Bergen.

A: AQUARIUM. Surely you’ve heard that we love fish in Norway. We love them so much that one of our greatest tourist attractions is a place where we keep the fish in big pools. It’s great. We love to study fish in pools. If you prefer birds - no problem - they also have penguins, although they come from the South Pole. Don’t ask us why.

B: BRYGGEN. This is a collection of very old houses from the Hansa period. They are made from wood, so we are really nervous about them. Like the leaning tower in Pisa, we are not talking about constructional masterpieces here. But tourists love them!

C: CYCLING. This is what it’s all about, but we are not experts with cycling championships. We had one last year. The peloton went into a tunnel. They shouldn’t have gone into that tunnel. Big mistake. We will do better this time, we promise. D: DOPING. Just you try! Very unwise. Our best skier had an accident with a skin cream. She got suspended for ages. Foreign dopers will have big problems, we really don’t like foreign dopers.

E: EDVALD BOASSON HAGEN. Excellent cyclist. Doesn’t talk much.

F: FLØYEN. Great mountain! The best thing about it is that you don’t need to hike up there. You can take the funicular. Very steep stuff. This is where the cyclists are heading during the individual team trial race. The view is very nice, when it doesn’t rain. It never rains, anyway.

G: GRIEG. Our famous composer. One of many geniuses from Bergen.

H: HANSA. This is our beer. It’s so good we never sell it in pints and it’s so good that it costs a fortune. It’s also so good that we don’t sell it in shops after 8