Yobs and yahoos
THE papers are awash with the doings of our dear departed legislators. Horror stories of personal gain and twisting of rules are the norm. Those in power, or out of it, have wasted no time in awarding themselves stunning prizes and perks – no questions asked. Virtually everything that can be squeezed out of this impoverished country has been squeezed out without shame or hesitation. Medical treatment for life being one of them which is now the birthright of anyone who occasionally attended the assemblies and did nothing else that could be remotely called, remarkable. For their great sacrifices for Pakistan, they and their extended families can be looked after till the cows come home except we don’t have any cows left – only holy cows and they never leave home. But then what is new? Everyone who is anyone has robbed this country without fear and since crooks supposedly sit in judgement over crooks, it all becomes a rather select club. Now while ordinary folk watch in growing frustration, a new level of horse-trading is in full flow with obscene amounts of money changing hands. May be the oldest profession in the books is not the one most people think.
The newspapers are full every day as are the news channels and since all of us know what is the national scene, there seems little point in boring people with more details of slimy deals and rank corruption. These are the ‘Yobs or Yahoos’ as Jonathan Swift called them uncouth, uncultured, uneducated criminally-inclined people who will stop at nothing to get ahead. With Pakistan seriously bankrupt, what kind of person would demand and get a salary jump at the very last hour? Seriously that too is a stupid question. The system feeds everyone that matters because they in turn feed the system.
Their behaviour has in turn contributed to the overall decline of manners and any semblance of breeding that could have survived in this landscape. Instead we have hordes of Pakistanis, young and old alike and they all are the same. They have no concept of good manners – even basic good manners and they are a slur on this blighted nation. Caught in a system they contribute to and at the same time benefit from; they also understand that if you are not going to embrace this sordid business, you will be chucked out.
Thus the national malaise of fighting and screaming extends to all we do. If you ever travel anywhere abroad where PIA operates you can walk into the largest departure hall and you can tell where the PIA counter is. It has no queue, no order and no discipline. Pakistanis fight like crazed animals. Aunties lug huge suitcases and fight if charged for excess baggage. Babies wail, fathers look askance, airline officials are ready to murder and the pushing and shoving goes on relentlessly. Other airline staff look at us half amused and often with disgust.
A friend who took the 15 hour non-stop PIA flight from Toronto to Lahore said that the loos were clogged within minutes of take-off. Every rule regarding the use of the loos is violated. Water oozes out, the loo is flooded, damp and squiggly tissues are plastered everywhere, the colognes long stolen and the stink simply unbearable. It is clear that none of passengers have any formal toilet training. The crew sometimes make an attempt to overcome the situation but largely just slink away holding their noses. To think that there are another say 14 hours to go unnerves just about the hardiest traveller. And of course we cannot land anywhere. Yes, we have long haul jets but other long distance airlines are not flying Fokker Friendships across the Atlantic, are they? Apparently we cannot afford landing costs and as for the passengers, God alone knows the agony they go through.
There was a time PIA had Velcro-fixed napkins at the back of each seat. Now it doesn’t because of cost cutting. PIA seats are thus oil-plastered affairs where the smell of copious amounts of sarson ka tayl permeates the already stinking air since usage of deodorants seems to be forbidden.
You cannot book your seat number – you can if you can get past the enormous amounts of crosses indicating non-availability but then learn that the first three rows are ‘not available.’ Sometimes this is revealed while you are checking in. Any amount of arguments will not change any thing. Can it be done? Of course it can but it won’t be done because ‘VIPs’ have to be obliged. One would like to know how much PIA is saving on the Velcro covers.
In Lahore the Bus Service opened only to be shutdown. The same louts were in attendance and they simply stormed the buses, breaking down the doors, windows and other parts. Escalators were hurriedly shut down. To board the buses, there were no queues. It was good old mayhem. It was as if the Lahoris had never ridden a bus before! Shoving and pushing followed and a free ride as planned was withdrawn. The Yobs had prevailed yet again.
It is a simple breakdown – now right across the board and no one can fix it. Any new leaders who come into power post May 11 will indulge in the same garbage that has been fed to the people. Although all of us are beyond shock, the blaring manifesto line of the PPP knocked me senseless. After a lapse of over 40 years it is back – that slogan which never materialised. We know how much ‘roti’, ‘kapra,’ or ‘makaan’ they gave us the first time around and many times in between but what level of shamelessness and absence of even the lowest levels of sense, lead a political party to once more thrust the same poison down our throats? Obviously they have no shame whatsoever. Surely in the many creative cooks they have someone could have come up with a better alternative, but then why even try? Just shove it down the throats and people will simply have to swallow. We are an uneducated country producing illiterate graduates and we have a plethora of deep-rooted problems. May be the few of us who cling on to things we learnt a long time ago, are the real dinosaurs which should be put where they belong – in museums.