Suicide is the most selfish act —Val Kilmer
SIMULA nang ibalita ang pagkamatay ni Anthony Burdoin, bumaha ang pakikiramay na ipinaaabot ng mga netizen, ngunit hindi Val Kilmer. Ito ay dahil sa kanyang masakit na puna bilang reaksiyon sa pagpapatiwakal ng una.
Ayon sa Yahoo Celebrity, sa isang mahabang post sa Facebook,ay tinawag ni Val ang kanyang kaibigan na “so selfish,” at nagalit sa yumaong chef-turned-TV host dahil sa pagkitil nito sa sariling buhay.
“Oh the dark thick pain of loss. The selfishness,” panimula niya. “How many moments away were you from feeling the love that was universal. From every corner of the world you were loved. So selfish. You’ve given us cause to be so angry.”
Nagbahagi si Kilmer ng kuwento tungkol sa “spiritual guide” na minsang nagpaliwanag sa kanya kung bakit ang “suicide is the most selfish act.”
“So what? I hear you took your life in Paris. What hotel? Did you relapse? Did you just get home from the best meal of your life? Did you cheat on your girl? Those of us that knew you are shocked and angry and angry and angry selfishly angry, for what you just did to us. Millions I should think. At least a million people like me who imagine they know you. Some imagine they know you even well,” post niya.
“But you heard that phone ringing, you felt it buzzing in your coat or pants pocket, vibrating a million times, but you didn’t answer it. You let it ring out. Did you bleed out? Did you suffocate? Did you jump. No you didn’t jump. Is it important we know how you did it? No. But that you did it.”
Binanggit din ni Val ang kanyang sariling mga isyu sa kalusugan; at nakikipaglaban siya sa throat cancer sa nakalipas na dalawang taon. “Would you have taken your life two years ago when like me you were unable to take in food and move it with your tongue over your taste buds because your tongue was too swollen? Is too swollen,” saad pa niya. Kalalagda lamang ng aktor para sa Top
Gun sequel, ang kanyang kauna-unahang major role mula nang makarekober sa cancer.
Binanggit din niya ang naulilang 11 taong gulang na anak ni Bourdain: “Altho I’ve never met a meal I didn’t like in the last 40 years except anything with too much cilantro. Was that it? You woke up and realized you were no longer hungry. And that even with a young daughter at home you would never be hungry enough again to want to take in breath. Was your father’s hate so still so present as to cloud over every last sunny moment of every single damn day Anthony. Oh darkness.”
Pagpapatuloy ni Val, “You could have and should have given it one more shot. Sometimes we must live in service to another’s life and live with no hope of equality. Life isn’t fair that way. Who says you had a right to take away all this love from us so soon?”
Tinapos ang aktor ang kanyang hinaing sa: “I fell asleep to watching you enjoy Uruguay last night. It was a rerun but I always find something I didn’t see before… you left too soon. And I’m going to prove it…”
Makaraan itong mai- post ang social media, sunud-sunod na ang pambabash na natanggap ni Val, at ilan sa mga ito ay sinagot ng aktor, na sa tingin niya ay hindi naintindihan ang kanyang punto.
“Wow just wow it’s attitudes like this that make having this invisible illness deadly! Selfish you have no clue what it’s like then to have this illness and be in a place so dark and desperate that you feel the world would be better off without you in it!” comment ng isang babaeng Facebook user. “To imply your illness is worse is clueless and insensitive .. people are continuing to die from mental health related issues yet you like many think or imply we need to just think happy thoughts.”
Sinagot naman ito ni Val ng, “love can heal.”
“It is not that I believe because he had an illness it was up to him to be solely responsible,” sabi niya. “You I am sorry to say, didn’t read what I wrote very carefully. I have grown up around extreme depression my whole life and have studied it intensely. I certainly wouldn’t judge his pain nor did I claim to. But clearly he felt he couldn’t take another breath and Love and a search for it enables us to try one more time. Is it not selfish that he could not consider his poor daughters needs for even an hour before committing the act. I am sorry you feel so violated as to wish to not know me in any way or now wish to find no value in my art. The way you talk makes me think you didn’t pay much attention to bourdains life or words either. He tried to see the big picture, and his tireless effort lead him to see sometimes very deeply…”
Isa pang babae ang bumuwelta kay Val, at sinabing, “I’m incredibly sad to hear your angry words and accuse a person of being so selfish.” Nagpatuloy siya sa pagbabahagi ng kanyang sariling karansan ng pagiging suicidal dahil sa postpartum depression.
Nag- reply si Val ng, “I’m angry because I love him and what he stood for. I’m so grateful you shared your story. You we’re open to Love on that crucial day. Anthony Bourdain was not for whatever reason. I don’t claim to know what it was.”
Mukhang hindi rin pinapatawad ng Twitter users si Val.