Holiday blues
WHILE the holiday season normally entails feelings of merriment and joy, a host of unwelcome emotions also plague some people amid the festive atmosphere.
Feelings of stress and anxiety, for instance, tend to rise during Christmas due to the demands and added responsibilities the season entails. In a US study conducted by Greenberg Quinlan Rosner Research (Greenberg) in 2006, the group found that holiday stress has a particular impact on women because they are usually left in charge of tasks related to holiday celebrations, like preparing meals or decorating the home. They also reportedly have a diff icult time relaxing and are more likely to fall into bad habits to manage their stress, like comfort eating.
In addition, the Greenberg study also stated that members of the lowermiddleincome class also experience elevated stress levels because of the weight of stress from work and the seasonal rush to find time to get everything done. People also worry about getting enough time off work and whether work responsibilities will interfere with time spent with family. Moreover, worries about money also contribute to this stress spike, brought about by “the commercialism of the season and the pressure to spend a lot.”
But Dr. Ann Epstein, clinical instructor in psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, believes there are ways to cope with these emotions to make the season more enjoyable. In a Harvard Health Publications article she wrote two years ago, Dr. Epstein said that adjusting expectations, making accommodations for change, or narrowing focus can all lead to a better Christmas for those who usually find it stressful.
“The pressure surrounding the holidays can be overwhelming. The media abound with tips for decorating, hosting festivities, preparing lavish meals, and giving gifts. Advertising depicts joy- filled family gatherings. If your holidays don’t fit these images, you may feel as though you have failed, because it looks as though everyone else is having a splendid time,” she said. “Yet such images are often distortions of the real picture,” she said.
She added that a growing body of research indicate that holidays rarely match people’s expectations, either for better or worse.
“Numerous similarly designed studies had researchers interview people both before and after a holiday, and the results showed that. In the first interview, they generally asked people how they expected to feel during an upcoming holiday; in the second, they asked how they had actually felt. In study after study, those who expected to feel great reported that their mood wasn’t quite as high as they had anticipated. Similarly, people who expected to feel miserable hadn’t felt that bad,” Dr. Epstein said.
Apart from stress and anxiety, people who have gone through or are going through the loss of a loved one also have a tendency to experience overwhelming sadness during the holiday season. Dr. Anthony Komaroff, executive editor of the Harvard Health Letter who himself lost a father during the season, wrote in an article last year that since family and togetherness are key themes for the holidays, these can underscore the loneliness of people who are spending it alone or apart from loved ones, particularly those who have experienced loss.
“Grief is not a tidy, orderly process, and there is no right way to grieve. Every person — and every family — does it differently. This can cause emotions to collide and overlap, especially during the holiday season when the emphasis is on rebirth and renewal,” Dr. Komaroff said.
Starting a new tradition or changing the celebration can help the grieving cope amid the seasonal cheer.
Expressing one’s needs can also help, he said, as the grief-stricken may fi nd it hard to participate in all the festivities or may need to let go of unsatisfying traditions.
“It’s all right to tell people you just aren’t up to it right now or to change plans at the last minute. I remember that my sister did not join in singing carols, the holidays after our father died,” he said.
Finally, Dr. Komaroff said helping someone else — such as volunteering through a charitable or religious organization, or making a donation to a cause in memory of the deceased — may also ease some of the holiday loneliness.