Listening with empathy to the workers
ELBONOMICS: Listening with empathy is like feeling with the heart of another person.
Iattended your exclusive management seminar in our company. You mentioned that listening with empathy provides one approach towards motivating the workers in the long term. As reflect on your thoughts, I can’t help but to ask the following questions — how can one listen with empathy? Can you please give me specific examples? It’s the only thing that I need to clarify. — Learning More.
Money may talk, but have you ever noticed how hard of hearing it is when you call it? The same thing can happen if you’re the boss of a problem employee, if not an employee with a problem. In both ways, you’ve to give him an undivided attention, a least in the meantime, while you’re trying to solve a problem that is directly connected with him.
Exactly what is empathy? In our context, it is the boss’s ability to deeply understand what his worker feels about a certain unfortunate situation either at work or at home. It is the awareness of one’s own emotions and sensitivity in the face of frustration, and at the same time the ability to motivate that person to overcome his current difficulties.
There are two basic components of empathy: One is deep understanding of a person’s feelings about his difficult situation brought about by an organizational issue or personal problem like illness or death of a family member. And two, the capability of the boss to inspire that same person not to lose hope by giving him special and limited privileges to overcome a problem.
Empathy is part and parcel of what is popularly known in the corporate world as “emotional intelligence” – the ability to feel what others are feeling, like a doctor who is able to listen to his patient’s problems and at the same time, show his facial expressions, body language, and gestures that he understands how the patient feels.
Listening with empathy is beneficial to both the boss and his workers. It shows genuine care and mutual respect. But listening with empathy is difficult. It requires a certain amount of commitment, skill, and practice, as well as the boss’s ability to suspending judgment. Now, to answer your question on “how” to listen with empathy, here are the following techniques that you may want to consider:
One, establish a proper setting for listening. Go to a private room where you can listen with empathy to your worker. Try to eliminate all possible distractions such as phone calls or visitors. This allows you to have an undivided attention to your worker.
Two, exercise patience when listening. Some people may take longer to express their point. Be patient. Ask questions, but treat the subject seriously, even if it appears too trivial for your attention. This happens at times when minor gripes and irritants have become apparent between and among the workers.
Third, never brush aside the concern of a worker. Even if you don’t agree with what’s being said, hear the person out. If you have that habit of cutting people off, they will be less likely to discuss anything with you. This will hinder your understanding of the worker’s concern.
Fourth, establish eye contact with the worker. Try to understand what’s not being said. Listening to an employee’s story alone may not give you the total picture. However, this is appropriate only when another office worker is involved (and not a family member).
Fifth, never interrupt the worker even if you don’t agree with him. Hear the complete story and validate it with what you know about the situation. Likewise, avoid excessive note-taking as this takes away your eyes away from the person. Besides, if you interrupt, you may miss important points in his story.
Sixth, don’t jump to a hasty conclusion that doesn’t support the worker’s story. If you do that, you’ll lose his attention. Take your time. You don’t have to make an action or judgment right away. Really, it’s tempting to make a quick reply out of this situation. Instead, evaluate silently and probe for answers to support your tentative finding.
Last, paraphrase what you got from the worker’s story. Summarize what you’ve been told. This gives you the opportunity to clarify your understanding of the meaning of the worker’s message. A conscious effort to discover what you may have missed gives you the chance to be sincere.