Lenten thoughts on Life
Hubris can drown the individual in emotional quicksand.
“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.”
It is Lent, the traditional period for reflection, voluntary sacrifice, and self-denial.
Those who have been blessed with material abundance could consider giving up a few indulgences or small luxuries. The practice is to share with others who have so little and who need so much.
The loss of a loved one is always very personal and profound. No two individuals can ever feel the same. Grief is a mental, emotional, and physical pain that sears the soul.
It is an indescribable period of catharsis, a purging that one can compare to a chink of coal being polished under extreme heat and pressure. What emerges is a brilliant diamond.
Reclusion, retreat, and mourning are chosen phases in one’s life during which one feels safe in a chrysalis. It is a rough-hewn cocoon of darkness during the cold winter months.
In the spring, after much effort and pain, the cracked cocoon releases the translucent, luminous butterfly. Free at last.
Many of us who have suffered a personal loss may feel the haze is oppressive and will never lift. We all try to keep a stiff upper lip.
Despite all, there are more people out there who need immediate help. There are thousands of homeless kids who need basic food, clothing, and education.
How to prioritize who needs help first? How to choose the organization that would best help the needy. Random giving is not practical. Funds may float and fritter away.
The decision to help others goes beyond the self. The private pain will never go away. Reaching out to help stricken families will
focus the mind to spend energy on others.
Typhoons create situations that trigger not only an upheaval but also a distillation process. Personal storms forcibly bring out the junk on all levels. One has to eject unwanted baggage, imagined wrongs, repressed anger, and pain. Much of the junk is caused by schadenfreude.
One of the most precious things in life is the gift of friendship. The essential elements are mutual loyalty, love, concern, understanding, humility, and a sense of selflessness.
A genuine friendship endures, strengthened by mutual experiences
— the roller coaster twists and turns, ups and downs.
Childhood friends grow up to become close friends, godparents, work colleagues. They often survive the petty quarrels. Their friendship, sincere and innocent, may transcend many differences — in career choices, religious, and political beliefs and other issues. The bottom line is loyalty, the act of defending a friend and staying close despite the odds. That is rare these days.
One passes important milestones, hurdles obstacles, and survives the crises with a steadfast soul mate or close circle of friends.
Upon reaching the crossroads, a true friend is there to hold one’s hand, through thick and thin, feast and famine, in fair and foul weather.
Inevitably, like the moon and the tides, there are natural cycles — the ebb and flow, the waxing and waning of a long- standing relationship.
A sudden rupture, personal or professional, may separate former confidantes or family members. A minor spat can be easily repaired — like a tiny tear or scratch. However, a severe misunderstanding can be a devastating wound. It can only be healed by forgiveness. And
forgiveness is mutual, not one sided.
Forget pride. Admit a mistake; be contrite, humble, and sincere.
In Greek classical drama, hubris is “overweening pride that leads to disaster… the refusal to accept the authority of the gods.” This character flaw can drown the individual in emotional quicksand.
To heal a wound completely, the protagonists should just forgive and accept forgiveness. Nothing less than a mutual reaching out, total reconciliation matters. Moving on is the next step. Allow me to share the Serenity prayer:
“God give us the grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, courage to change the things that should be changed, and the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.”