Shouldn’t miss the office party
What happens in the office party stays in the office party.
In terms of corporate ritual, the office Christmas party has to be up there with recognition night and team building. (There’s no “I” in team.) In the case of the party though, there is no need to rate the speaker afterwards or be subjected to an evaluation of any kind: he lacks pizzazz and tends to inhale too often when making presentations.
Still, there is an accepted behavior for the senior executive attending the party.
Do you join the show? There seems to be a shift in the goal for the Christmas party. It used to be simple camaraderie, blurring the hierarchical divide, if only for one night, maybe featuring departmental skits with inside jokes.
Now there is a need to “entertain.” Very elaborate themes complete with costumes, choreographers, and makeup are becoming too common. Sometimes, the goal seems to be to make senior executives less stuffy by making them well… ridiculous and silly. A transvestite theme like a “Rocky Horror Show” look works well. Wearing high heeled shoes for men over 50 requires practice (Or maybe, not). Hey, Kinky
Boots made that work. Take a look at those fishnet stockings, on men.
What happened to the parlor games? This office party staple now seems passé. The “newspaper dance,” where a couple gets to dance on a progressively smaller and smaller folded newspaper without stepping out of it, used to top the list. The final fold requires one of the partners (not necessarily the male) to heave the other while tiptoeing on the tiny space for ten seconds. Yes, it was hilarious, especially for chiropractors.
Another once popular parlor game, the egg race, is but a distant and risqué memory. The males just stand as their blindfolded lady partners are required to put one egg, sometimes boiled, in one pant leg and out the other. The first to get the egg out the other pant leg wins. The whoops are reserved for the middle of the race where the egg makes a brief stop. It is required that the original egg comes out in its unbroken shell and unaccompanied by hirsute debris.
In the age of sexual harassment accusations, such parlor games may not be in synch with the times.
Do you circulate? The tendency is always for executives to stay together in the presidential table, being served by waiters as the rest of the staff line up at the buffet. You are encouraged to move around and greet the troops with a little small talk — so, did you finally get that hernia fixed? There is no need to check if this was already done. And it is best not to dive deep into details.
It is important in the walk-through to exchange personal pleasantries with the staff. This assures them that: a) you know their names; and b) you are current with their present situation. It is not necessary to respond to work-related queries like a recent reorganization and why certain names were left out — we can discuss that next week… when you’re gone.
Is it acceptable for male executives to kiss female staff ? Let’s define the lip osculation referred to here. It should be more of the air kiss with a little cheek touching. Tongue hockey or anything of that sort is taboo. There is little problem kissing anyone overweight and over 60 as this is seldom misconstrued as lust and often categorized as mere yuletide cheer. But intimacies with svelte women younger than 25 may raise suspicions of intent. Shaking hands may be safer, unless it’s over five minutes. (Do you intend to rent that?)
How long do you stay? You may leave just before the raffle as nobody will notice your departure when the winners of rice cookers and iPhones are announced. Do you say goodbye? The preferred departure is an informal French leave. You head for the toilet and then the parking lot.
Do you send an e-mail of thanks the morning after for everyone who participated in the success of the party, pointedly leaving out the names of those who did not come in costume and failed to attend the late night rehearsal the night before for the dance number, and even left early?
There is no need send an e-mail related to the office party. All the interesting parts anyway are not for everybody’s consumption. Besides, like Las Vegas, what happens in the office party stays in the office party… until next year.